Posted by sunny10 on May 2, 2005, at 12:37:12
I think I'm going off the deep end again- for no concrete reason....
My SO and I had a "date" on Saturday night (mainly it was a "half-weekend, sleepover date"- his mom was throwing a huge family and friends get-together and he wasn't up to answering questions about "us" yet). We ran errands together on Saturday afternnon, went out to dinner, then watched a movie at my apt and went to bed. He had brought over deodorant, shaving gel, and a razor with extra cartridges and has stored them in my bathroom cabinet.
I had to meet my brother at the old house at 11:00 am the next morning,so he could move an extra refrigerator out (that his in-laws can use), so we "parted" at about 10:30. SO had hopped in the shower before he left my apt. The goodbyes were, "see ya later", as was usual when we lived together, but now it's like "see you WHEN?", you know? Every time I try to call him, he doesn't answer his cell phone and it goes to voice mail. I know for a fact that we get no reception on our Verizon phones inside his mom's house..So why did I NOT fall asleep last night because I became suddenly convinced that he was not only "dating" me, but dating other women as well???? I mean, seriously, there I was imagining going to see him at his mom's place and "catching him" kissing another woman (throwing up and jumping back in my car to speed away- and I was nauseus while lying in my bed thinking about this)... Imagining going to my overdue gyn appt. and finding out he gave me a disease because he was sleeping around,.... imagining him down in New Orleans (after I escaped his drunken violence) in our hotel room, that I had booked, having sex with another woman/women...And that he's not even AT his mom's house whenever I call, but is not answering because he's on a date with another woman...
I have absolutely no empirical evidence that he is cheating on me. Last week he said that I was still his girlfriend; that he didn't want any other girlfriend. This week, I'm convinced he's lying. What the heck is wrong with me?!?
I don't want to be this paranoid person- please help...
I really want to work things out with him and I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I know I have a fear of abandonment; and I know it has shown its uglyhead just for the mere fact that we no longer live together, but where is all this "other women" crap coming from??? I want it to stop and I just can't get it out of my head...Does anyone have any advice at all????
Thanks,
sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:492670
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/492670.html