Posted by ToddfromPhoenix on August 14, 2000, at 21:59:03
To my great dismay, I have unsuccessfully failed on three occasions to put my misery to an end. I seem to be destined to serve out my penance regardless of how many pills I take to enter darkness. I am so angry at this failure, I can hardly stand it. My only wish is that we kept firearms at home, not as likely to fail next time.
I know I told you all that I wouldn't be back. I am sorry that the three episodes since July haven't worked. Effexor is non-effective garbage and this Serzone is worse. I am sitting in my jail cell known commonly as a cubicle at work and I can't even concentrate. Driving is impossible. Working is impossible. Why are all these hot shot "psych" doctors interested in playing some demented God and giving medicine that is totally ineffective??? I am sooooooo glad I decided to quit medical school when I did. I couldn't bear to practice the "art form" called medicine and screw constantly with people's minds. And the doc's have all the right answers, take the red pill to help with side effects of the blue pill. Take the green pill to help the side effects of the red pill (and so on). What the hell is going on here? Do I take the pills to live or do I live to take the pills??
I hate medicine. I hate those who think life's ills are about finding the little pills to make life better. They are myopic and truly wear blinders. For those who have read what I have said and thought I screwed with the "geniouses" from med school and the pills they have described.....WRONG! I absolutely hate what is going on here with me. I hate what is going on with you. Some of you have been duped into believing that pills are the "answer" to life's problems. Sorry, can't be. Just like they used to believe that using electricity to shock the body and cure everything from STD's to old age, I feel that if I am tortured to live in five to ten years, they will say, those poor people. They were foolish enough to take the advice from people of good intention, but no understanding of what truly was helpful. I know this site is intended to help people, but is it really? To me, it would seem surprising if drug company money wasn't used to finance this site and try to keep the customers clamoring for more. With a society that is so advanced and billions in research, why can doctors not provide a real "chemical correction" to brain chemistry rather than sending these little pills of Drano into our system? I can go to a medical doctor, get a checkup, draw my blood and find a deficiency in its makeup and correct it. Why can't something like that be done for the mind? Sounds like it isn't in the drug company's best interest.
Some may consider this to be a neurotic, angry rant. Well folks, I'm not Dennis Miller and I am not a mad man. I just think that we should rise above the need for chemical intradiction and deal with life. Some might think I am nuts, a lunatic. If I am, truly I deserve the lead pill I seek desperately.
poster:ToddfromPhoenix
thread:42903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000811/msgs/42903.html