Posted by shar on October 12, 2000, at 12:35:39
In reply to yet another reply, posted by pullmarine on October 11, 2000, at 23:42:25
I'm sort of jumping in the middle here (not having read each and every post), but isn't talking about "distorted" thoughts sort of like talking about what is "normal" ? That is, there's no such thing as normal, except that thinking makes it so, or perhaps majority opinion makes it so. (To wit: cultural differences.)
So, if my therapist's role is to determine which thoughts are "accurate" and which are "distorted" I may be in real trouble. And, if the "distortion" -- once pointed out -- would simply disappear, I have wasted a fortune in therapist fees.
Since I was a teen, I've had hardly a day that I did not think about suicide. Or, maybe other forms of it--wanting to disappear, wanting to run away, etc. So, let's pretend I was raised to believe I was so worthless and useless, I did not even deserve to "be" -- that wouldn't be a distorted thought, that's a fact, Jack.
All I would need is for a therapist to tell me, "hey, that's not true. You deserve to be here." Maybe whip out his Bible and tell me what God has in mind for me (I find most religion pretty offensive). Then I'd think, oh, well, I do deserve to be here, and I'm all healed now? What a silly idea!
As to the perceptions of depressed people, hypervigilence may play a role in that. You know, when kids learn to pick up on slight changes in behavior of their parents (against whom they are, in fact, helpless) in order to survive. If it does play into it, is it distorted, then, that they notice the danger around them? Or, as some might put it, that they are pessimistic?
I believe (no empirical evidence) depressed people may be and feel hopeless for good reason, and they want to love and be loved, and they don't have much in between. So, sometimes, if someone seems trustworthy, they may fling open their hearts -- and guess what? Oops, the "trustworthy" person didn't/couldn't/wouldn't give what was needed. (Maybe nobody could.) But, then, the depressed person is going to ...what? Get depressed again? Believe there is no hope (that was just proven to them!).
As much as others on this board may disagree, I can understand completely the desire to commit suicide. Every single day. To live in oceans of night and want with my entire being to die. However, I've come to my own understanding of how come I won't do that. But, do I think that is a "distorted" point of view? Nope. Does my happy sister think so? Yep. Her world goes from happy to happier. Do I see pain where she turns her head? Yep. Does she have to be a pretzel sometimes in order to deny the bad things that happen (ie, combine a set of disparate beliefs or parts thereof so she can get the facts into her happy framework)? Yep.
I'm not sure this is making sense. The solution for me has been to take meds that keep me above water, and go to therapy because I have a desire to develop some additional skills that may make my life a safer and more rewarding place to be. I want to have a life that seems less tragic. But, if for some reason I decided it was time for me to "shuffle off this mortal coil" I by God would, in a heartbeat, so to speak.
And the "non-distorted thinkers" could interpret it their way (oh, if x had only happened, she could have been so happy....), and some of the depressed and/ or suicidal people could probably understand, after 30+ years of depression, it happened.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:42903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20001012/msgs/46206.html