Posted by dove on August 15, 2000, at 17:20:48
In reply to This #@*$@ sucks!, posted by ToddfromPhoenix on August 14, 2000, at 21:59:03
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> I know I told you all that I wouldn't be back. I am sorry that the three episodes since July haven't worked. Effexor is non-effective garbage and this Serzone is worse.***Well first, my heart goes out to you, I've experienced first hand the (dare I call it?) shame of remaining in the land of the living after my own personal ultimatum. I know I shouldn't feel shame, but there it is anyway. Secondly, you discuss the utter failure of the meds you've tried, I would counter that with a question. Which meds have you tried altogether? Lots of combo's? Now on to the next part:
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>Why are all these hot shot "psych" doctors interested in playing some demented God and giving medicine that is totally ineffective??? What the hell is going on here? Do I take the pills to live or do I live to take the pills??***I understand your anger, unfortunately, that is how medicine is practised, and not just psyche either. Remember how intricate the body is, and then the *mind*, we're talking heavy stuff here, no mortal has all the answers, if they did, there would be a fountain of youth hidden inside some Uni Hospital. Taking the pills to live or living to take the pills is not the whole picture. The latter points to addiction, and the first points to desperation, either of these options is a hard and difficult place to find yourself in. So, understandably, you're feeling heavy and dark, any of us would (and often do). Maybe it is time to do without, and try to gain a clearer vantage point.
***But you're also giving up therapy, which has nothing to do with the pills? There are so many variations of practitioners, and having someone to actually talk to can really help, especially if there isn't anyone there to listen to you.
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> I hate medicine. I hate those who think life's ills are about finding the little pills to make life better. They are myopic and truly wear blinders. Some of you have been duped into believing that pills are the "answer" to life's problems.***I won't label your conclusions as wrong, because they may be perfectly on target for you. But... My life is the reverse. I was not allowed to receive treatment even as a child, even in the face of blatant inherited manic-depression. My parents insisted that no pill could ever fix me, and maybe they were right, but a pill could have helped me, prevented how many attempts to end my life, cut short some seriously destructive behavior. Even as an adult, trying to convince my doctors that my migraines were not part of my depression, or the reason I was crying was not because I had PMS. I have legitimate respect for doc's who listen to their patients, allow them to go in directions less traveled, who are willing to stick their neck out for me.
***And I don't think one person on this board, not one, believes that "pills are the *answer*". We know the party-line, the SSRI hype, the ugly side of the pharmaceutical industry, the absurdity of trying to convince a p-doc of what we're actually feeling and experiencing. That *IS* what this board is about, not meds and pills, not arguing about the righteousness of pills versus therapy, or both versus nothing at all, or everything versus social activism. We are for each other, the board is the medium on which to put to practice the whole idea of "Am I my brother's keeper". This is a community, which is why, when an outsider attacks one of our own it ruffles feathers. Or why when one of us takes that frightening step to leave this world, it feels like a slap in the face. We do care, even when you don't care about yourself.
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>I know this site is intended to help people, but is it really? To me, it would seem surprising if drug company money wasn't used to finance this site and try to keep the customers clamoring for more.***You're forgetting that docs make more money when depression isn't treated with meds. Therapy results in big monetary costs, and the actual cost of untreated depression is considerably higher than when it's caught and dealt with. This site is so far removed from drug company propaganda, this site is about the different paths taken, support for those different paths, and respect for the people traveling them.
***When we preach (or spread our thoughts), as you might interpret my post, we scatters seeds, they may hit arid ground, fertile ground, or even poisoned ground, but every location will support some amount of life. The arid ground may only sprout 15% of those seeds, compared to the fertile where 95% of those seeds emerge from the earth, while the poisoned ground only sprouts 1% or less.
***What I am saying/writing may fall on hardened ground, damaged ground, "deaf ears" as they say, but maybe just a wisp will filter through, and you will know that we are here and listening. You may reject any empathy, which is far removed from pity, and you may get angry, but nothing you do, or say can, or will change what I'm trying to say to you at this moment. I am sorry that you haven't found support at this board, and I'm sorry that you view us all in such an acrid light. My thoughts are with you.
dove
poster:dove
thread:42903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000811/msgs/42991.html