Posted by Racer on September 30, 2000, at 22:42:55
In reply to Re: it's your right to die, posted by Cindy W on September 30, 2000, at 22:14:24
My father died several years ago, painfully and alone, without ever having done anything at all worth remembering. All he had were failures and misery. You wanna know why I get angry about that? He had opportunities all his life to make that life better. You know what he did about it? NOTHING. Not one damn thing. All he ever did was run away. And he couldn't even say that he didn't hurt anyone. He hurt almost everyone in his life.
I've been miserable. The doctor I was assigned by the county when I was last depressed and uninsured told me that the drugs were just fine, working as expected, but I couldn't expect to feel any relief because I was too screwed up! You think I didn't think about grabbing a gun???
Here's something you're not thinking about: reality. You married your wife because you thought well of her. At least, I imagine you did. Do you have any idea what really happens when someone dies by gunshot? First of all, it's not easy to clean up that sort of mess. Secondly, did you know that it's illegal to do it yourself in many areas? Blood, after all, is hazardous waste! Think of the expenses your wife would incur at a time when she's least able to deal with it. And guess what, she'll have to deal with it. There's no agency to step in and fix things for her. Do you really want her to have to go through the horrors of that just because you ran away? She'll also be facing the pain of you running away from her in such a terrible way.
And you know what else? You not only hurt everyone around you if you do any such thing, but you cheat yourself out of the chance to experience something better. That's like cheating at solitaire. How can anyone respect someone who cheats at solitaire?
Now, I've expressed my anger and hope that someone reminds me of this next time I'm suicidal.
ToddFromPhoenix, I truly hope you find something to relieve your depression. My grandparents used to live on East Monterosa, back in the 60s and 70s, and I remember how much I loved being in Phoenix with them. I used to collect rocks in a park there, and found the best crystals I'd ever seen there. Tiny geods, with quartz crystals as delicate as pixie hair.
Here's hoping that JC helps, and that you find relief. But damn it to hell, don't find relief for yourself by committing your wife to hell!
poster:Racer
thread:42903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000926/msgs/45569.html