Posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2006, at 5:30:28
In reply to Re: Social Anxiety » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on January 26, 2006, at 20:47:45
> I like you! I think you’re just great.
:-) Thank you. I like you too :-)
> I think you have very good interpersonal skills,I try... Online... I have more opportunity to think before posting. I still don't think as much as I should... But I do have more time. Also... You can say one thing... And nobody sees how anxious you are. Or the tears streaming down your face.
> I suspect you worry too much that a broken situation will NEVER be fixed, no matter how hard you try...
I guess I worry most about... Social clumsiness. And being boring. Because I tend to go all quiet and can't think of anything to say. And I worry that they will think I'm not having a good time (which might well be true because of the anxiety) but then they won't want me to go out with them etc. And I know it is an unhelpful cycle... But it is one that I can be in danger of being caught up in...
> Loneliness is really hard. You might feel less lonely if you hung out with people you actually like.Yeah. It seems to be people I actually like... Who I have the most trouble around. Because... I actually care what they think of me. If my druggie mates give me a hard time then I'm not too bothered. But when I do care... Then that is the hardest.
> Make friends you really like. Those are the people who will help pick you up when things get hard.
I know that. And... I really want to. I just get scared. And the hardest thing about flatting... Is the thing that always is the hardest for me... Preparing food with other people around. Because... I don't do it. And because most people see that as a social thing to do. And I don't want to be part of it. So... Back to my room again :-(
> Step 1: talk to the Uni and find out if they have accommodation for single people (where you don’t have to share with others).Done. Too many applicants not enough places, looks like I missed out :-(
> Explain that you have a mental illness and that social anxiety is a feature of it.
:-( I don't want anybody to know... I really don't want to go that way :-(
> Step 2: if you can’t get a single room in Uni accommodation, decide what kind of people you want to live with. Boys? Girls? Smokers? Metalheads?Yeah. Trying to work out... Expenses... Bond and area and stuff... Other grad students for preference, I guess...
> Step 3: go to see places when you arrive. Trust your instincts. If anything feels wrong, don’t go there. Only make a decision when you feel you can cope with the situation.
Yeah.
I think it is a bit tricky with the huge influx of new students (mostly graduate) at this time of year... Hard to get a place at all...
I guess... I'll just have to do my best. And hope that I'm worrying now more than I'll be worrying once I'm there. And have faith that things will be okay. Getting someplace to live... I think that is the first mission. Once that is done... Hopefully it will all come together okay.I hope.
I guess this is just another drama... I wish my life wasn't like that :-(
poster:alexandra_k
thread:602943
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/603348.html