Posted by alexandra_k on January 26, 2006, at 18:24:37
In reply to Re: Social Anxiety » alexandra_k, posted by LegWarmers on January 26, 2006, at 10:20:26
> Make sure you keep in touch with your friends when you move, that will help.
Well... I have a couple friends from work who I really will try my best to keep in touch with. Last time I went for a couple months... I was sending them emails, and they weren't really responding, though. I think we are so close... Because we are in the same office so we are just kind of together a lot of the time and we organise other stuff in virtue of us being together a lot of the time. If I'm not around them then even though I email them... We sort of do lose touch.
And as for my other friends... The only thing holding that together (truth be told) is drugs. So those connections... Are probably better off severed. I really want to leave that part of my life behind me.
> Alex, you are a really kind, intelligent, and wonderful person, people will see that in you.<blush>
Again... You guys really are making me cry.
> If you start to feel anxious remove yourself until you feel better.
Yeah. I try and do that. And when I get really very anxious (I think that is what that is about) then I take a couple days off 'sick'. It is hard if we are out in public though. In a restaraunt or something. You know... I used to have these spells. I've just realised... Watching the Soprano's lol... Anxiety. Doesn't happen very often but I have been known to have a dizzy spell and fall over :-(
> Take yourself to the campus early and try to get as comfortable as you can there. Going to a new place adn not knowing the envirinment can add to the anxiety, so if you have that down thats less anxiety to work with.
Yeah. I was there for three months a couple years back. When I first discovered Babble actually :-) So the department is familiar and some of the people there will be familiar. Mostly it will be around... Accomodation. And social obligations. They also have a lot of people visiting for a while (and social obligations around that). But it is a relief to me that I have been there before and know my way around the campus / city a little and that there will be a few familiar (and friendly) faces. I'm really rather glad... That I didn't get into the US. I think... That would have been too much for me.
> Can you make all the living arrangements over the phone?
Looks like accommodation is fairly scarce so people want to interview you properly. I have issues around being a fairly bad, a-social flatmate in general and worrying that I'm inflicting myself on people... How fair is it for me to try and get people to let me join their flat? I worry about that. But... It is just something that I have to do. Apparantly... I come across fairly well in an interview type situation. It is only once people get to know me lol.
> Does your school offer any relaxation classes? Id start those before you leave.
No. But I do know how to do mindfulness meditation which is a form of relaxation. I keep meaning to take that up again... I should do that. I really really should. Because it does help. And yeah. It takes some time before you start to really notice a benefit so I really should get on to that today.
> The more relaxed we are around people, the more relaxed they are, the more we smile, the more they smile. But I know it is hard to relax when we are anxious....Yeah. I know that rationally. But emotionally... Different story. I also have trouble with controlling / modulating my facial expression. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and am really very transparant with those. It is really very hard for me to modulate that and next to impossible for me to mask that and smile appropriately when I feel afraid / down.
> when are you leaving?
Hopefully... 17th Feb. Have yet to book flights. Have been waiting on accommodation. But... Shall talk to parents early next week and book flights. And backpackers. Looks like I'll need to stay there for a week while I find something... Take me a week to look probably too. So I'll be starting at the department a week later than I would have liked. And that only gives me a week to find something eep! They are asking around as to whether there is anyone in the department I can stay with temporarily / perminantly... But worst case... Backpackers...
> I know you will do fine! You will meet people, it may take time because it does for most people but you will.
Thanks
((((((Legwarmers))))))
You really are much better at this stuff than me...Thank you.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:602943
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/603131.html