Posted by alexandra_k on January 26, 2006, at 17:58:05
In reply to Re: Social Anxiety, posted by caraher on January 26, 2006, at 9:59:54
> > I wish I knew what to say to make things easier for you but I'm in the same boat. Medication and therapy haven't helped either.
Ah. Maybe we could have a social group of people with social anxiety lol.
:-)
Maybe... A lot of people here have that going on. Maybe... Thats why we are here...> What kind of therapy have you had?
CBT, DBT, brief supportive psycho-dynamic, narrative.
But you know in all my years of therapy / involvement with community mental health social anxiety isn't something that has ever been looked at. It just occured to me last night that that might well be what is going on for me. We have looked at my avoidance. How I avoid situations. But really what that comes down to is my avoiding situations which involve people which involve my feeling anxious. Thats why the thought of getting a job was just too much for me. Interview. Then meeting people I'm going to be working with. Then dealing with the public. Just the thought of it and I need to go curl up by myself somewhere. And my feeling really very intensely distressed at times. I think that is about feeling isolated / alone. It is people contact that can help pull me out of that place. I guess that is why hospital is a safe environment for me. I don't feel socially anxious around the other patients.
> Alexandra, when I moved in 2003 to accept a new job I was far enough along in therapy that I was able to view it as a chance to project a somewhat different, yet genuine, social persona than I habitually do. It takes an effort to behave with more confidence than you feel. But I've found that this is an area where developing the habit of acting as if you weren't anxious or uncomfortable, to the degree that you find possible, seems to precede actualy becoming less anxious. Part of this was telling myself that yeah, I'm going to commit the occasional faux pas, but that's OK, and if someone is going to hold it against me forever I probably wasn't going to get along with him or her anyway.Yes. Feel the fear and do it anyway and over time... It gets easier. Yup. I think the hardest thing for me is social stuff around food. And a lot of social stuff... Is around food. Food preperation is the worst. Childhood stuff... But yeah. Hopefully I will get better with this over time...
> So I hope you can find a way to turn this challenge into an opportunity to live more the way you'd like to live.I'm going to try my best. I really really really want this to work out for me. I guess what I'm a little concerned about is that precisely because it is so important for me... It is going to be really very hard for me.
But last time... I have been where I'm going for a couple months. And it was okay. It was okay. A lot awkward, but I didn't make a fool of myself. I guess I just have to have faith that it will be the same this time. And it will get easier over the years.
The worst thing is accommodation. Once that is sorted... Then I'll have a secure base. I need that. My room... My personal space... Somewhere I can go and cry my eyes out if need be... My room is my rock. I need that. I hope I can sort it *before* I go... But if not... Well... I will get there. I will.
Thank you.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:602943
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/603120.html