Posted by Piquet on September 25, 2004, at 6:56:58
I am a 52 year old male 'career depressive' (ie, since adolescence), whose dx is major depressive disorder (atypical and treatment refractory). As I'm currently experiencing a decent amount of remission (thanks to Parnate -- that 500 lb gorilla of antidepressants) and am optimistic that this trend will continue, I've been thinking about a time in the future when I might actually be able to form and maintain a relationship with a woman; although my self-esteem, confidence and general situation aren't quite equal to the task at present.
I would welcome anyone's views or opinions on the following subject: as a general principle, is it a good idea to have as a partner someone who has had similar experiences to oneself in their life, regarding depression, etc., and might therefore be capable of greater empathy, etc. than a mentally stable person, or might this be a case of "playing under the anvil tree"? Would it rather be better to be with a more 'normal' person, who is perhaps less likely to be descending into the pit at the same time as oneself, if or when things go horribly wrong? (I use the word 'normal' advisedly, as half the world seems to be either undiagnosed or in denial :))
I ask this because I have always tended to avoid women with similar problems to my own on the basis that we might end up less like yin and yang and more like nitro and glycerine. On the other hand, my relationships with those who were more mentally stable have never lasted, and I admit that this has mostly been because of my depressive episodes.
I realise, too, that there are many other factors involved in the quality and success of a relationship, but if you have a take on this particular aspect, I'd be interested in knowing it. I'm not expecting anyone to give me definitive answers, written in stone, but I believe that others' comments or discussion may help me to think about this in a much more objective way than I have been doing. Thanks in advance,
Piquet.
poster:Piquet
thread:394812
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/394812.html