Posted by Piquet on October 2, 2004, at 18:46:14
In reply to Re: Anvil Resistant Headwear? » Piquet, posted by ron1953 on September 28, 2004, at 22:58:34
> Piquet:
>
> Can't easily step on toes here - it's all public. My post to Jane was just in the interest of avoiding confusion.
>
> Back to the relationship thing. You said your ex was normal, yet she couldn't leave her work at the office, to the detriment of her personal life and you. And as a professional, one would think she should know better. But she's just another human like the rest of us. My good friend, who's a psychiatrist waited FOUR years after his separation, certain that his wife would return. Only when she started living with another man did reality finally sink in. I guess what I'm saying is that while I understand your concern (similar to mine), the question is moot. The variables are endless. Not to sound like a broken record (an expression that only has meaning to geezers like us), I think Harville Hendrix addresses the REAL issues we've faced and will face again. I'll be very interested in your thoughts about the book. Whether you agree or disagree with his ideas, etc., I'm sure you'll find it interesting. BTW, a friend of mine has a T-shirt that says, "My next wife is going to be normal". You should see the stares and faces that creates!
>
> RonHi Ron. My apologies for taking so long to get around to it (I'm partially blaming the dosage increase, but I'm also a bit of a procrastinator anyway -- a habit that goes hand in glove with chronic depression), but I read the Hendrix interview today. He says some thought-provoking things; for example, that we're looking -- in a partner -- for aspects of our parents to continue our nurturing -- at least, that's what I understand him to be saying. Coming from a broken home, as I do, I would find that more than a little disturbing and I can't really say that my own experience of relationships really supports such a view. However, I wouldn't entirely discount his views before learning more about them. Most of what he was saying in the interview seemed to be a combination of standard psychotherapy techniques -- as they are applied to relationships -- and good old common sense, rather than elucidating his imago theory. Nothing wrong with that I guess, after all, he'd probably like any interested parties to go and buy his book.
The "...four things you should do to prepare yourself for a future partner..." I have no argument with. Especially number four. If he offers valid and workable techniques for achieving those aims I'd say that the book would be well worth buying. That's my two cents worth. Have you bought the book yet? If so I'd like to hear what you have to say about it. Take care,
Piquet.
poster:Piquet
thread:394812
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/398355.html