Posted by Piquet on October 4, 2004, at 17:25:15
In reply to Re: Anvil Resistant Headwear? » Piquet, posted by ron1953 on October 3, 2004, at 11:22:57
> Good to hear from you, Piquet!
>
> I would think coming from a broken home might leave a person with even more unresolved parental issues. Just an opinion.
>
> I read the book some years ago and as I said, my ex didn't quite buy into the ideas and hard work it would take to apply the techniques and practices explained in the book. I suppose it's like two-person group therapy. The book doesn't really offer techniques for finding a partner. But if you think the marriage techniques in the book have merit, it'll probably point you in the same direction I'm going. I'm going to be sure that my next potential partner is fully cognizent of the hard work that's in store as the relationship progresses, especially after the romantic "high" has worn off and the realities of marriage start to reveal themselves.
>
> An interesting note: My ex initiated the separation because she blamed all of the marital problems on me and my depression. She cut off all contact with me after we separated, so I had no way of knowing how she was faring, except through my son, who has a mainly superficial telephone relationship (she lives 1300 miles away) with her. (nice run-on sentence, huh?) She maintained that she was just fine until recently, when she revealed to him that she was having a good deal of difficulty, emotionally and financially, living alone. Seems like she went from the frying pan into the fire. Although it's not my problem, I can't help but wonder if we'd still be together if we had applied Hendrix's techniques in years past.> Ron
Hi Ron. Well, some things (such as parental issues/broken homes) just don't ever get fully resolved, but at some point one has to move on and not try to 'unfry the eggs'. I don't feel like I carry much of a burden from those years; I have far more trouble with the lifetime of collateral damage caused by my depression, although it's all obviously interrelated. It sounds to me like you must be experiencing a reasonably good degree of remission from your depression right now, which is giving you the opportunity to think about -- and do something about -- relationship specifics. My original enquiry was slightly more academic, in that I'm not quite at the stage where I can address the specifics as I'm still dealing with medications and ladder climbing, etc.
Its interesting about what has happened, or what is happening, to your ex. Regarding my own ex, I had expected that after we broke up she would be able to use her experience of our relationship in finding something more suitable for her needs. Instead, (and too long after the event to be blamed on rebound) she took up with a complete &+*$%# and was divorced -- with children -- several years later. Psychologist or not, she might have got some benefit from Hendrix's book, too.
Piquet.
poster:Piquet
thread:394812
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/398913.html