Posted by ron1953 on October 25, 2004, at 10:14:21
In reply to Anvil Resistant Headwear?, posted by Piquet on September 25, 2004, at 6:56:58
Piquet:
I found some 'answers' to our mutual and separate questions about relationships. Just when I was getting comfortable with singlehood, not mate-hunting and just chipping away at other issues, I met someone. Much to our surprise and delight, we've grown very fond of each other. We've been totally open and honest about ourselves and our issues from the beginning. Neither of us wants this to be a 'rebound' or fantasy relationship that could end in hurt, nor do we want any avoidable surprises, so we keep doing reality-checks to keep our feet firmly on the ground. Both of us are completely blown away with this development, which neither of us was prepared for (or so we thought).
Regarding your original question about similar vs. normal, the object of my affection does have lifelong issues (and she knows about mine), and I think this is a good thing because we can more easily understand each other's feelings. From my experience with normal people, including my own brothers, they simply can't understand or empathize with something they haven't experienced.
I did as I promised myself, put all my cards on the table and talked about my feelings, including those regarding the hard work involved in a relationship, even asking her to read the Harville Hendrix interview to see how she felt about it. Again, another necessary risk. She responded quite positively. Before I met this woman, Hendrix's theories were just that for me - theories. I never had a chance to actively use them with a willing partner. The results have been astounding! The healing has already begun. Personal breakthroughs have been made. It's magic!
How do I feel? Fantastic. Being in love again is better than I could imagine. Being in love consciously with someone who shares the same commitment to the hard work (and big rewards) is beyond description. I got Hendrix's book "Keeping the Love You Find" recently. After reading only the first few pages, I can see that it's perfect.
This post is a celebration of the healing powers of love, and an invitation for all who want it to roll up their sleeves and join the fun.
Ron
poster:ron1953
thread:394812
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041015/msgs/406983.html