Posted by JenStar on January 25, 2006, at 13:46:33
In reply to What is wrong with me?, posted by cricket on January 23, 2006, at 13:44:21
hi cricket,
your relationship mystifies me - I can't understand it, at least as an outsider looking in. For me, no marriage would be better than a marriage where my husband openly cheats. But I know that there are all kinds of relationships in this world, and sometimes things "work" even when they don't make sense to me.
But...are you truly happy in this kind of relationship? Is this something you two have discussed and come to an open arrangement? Are you allowed to or do you have boyfriends of your own? What are you getting from this marriage?
To me, it seems that he is treating you with gross disrespect.
As to why you allow it: Maybe you don't feel you're worthy of better, and therefore you settle for what he gives? Do you feel like you're a "savior" of a sort, if he relies on you for things? Do you feel more like a mother figure than a wife, but some part of you is so afraid to be alone that you won't leave him? Are you not that attracted to men in general, but worried about your sexuality, and this marriage is a way to protect your identity?
These questions are just questions...I'm not making any assumptions about you.
As to whether there is something "wrong" with you, that's kind of a loaded question. :) But in general, I think you're not treating yourself with the respect and dignity and love that you deserve, if you allow yourself to stay with a man who does this to you.
Do you feel human in other respects?
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:602095
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/602673.html