Posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2006, at 17:39:28
In reply to Re: What is wrong with me? » Tamar, posted by cricket on January 27, 2006, at 9:23:09
Security.
I was starting to worry a bit about what I said before. Security... Means a great deal to me, and maybe... It means a great deal to you too.
He said he hoped you will still be with him when he is too old to have a girlfriend...
That means he wants to grow old with you. He won't leave you.
That counts for a lot. It does.
Because to really care about someone... To really have an emotional connection with someone...
I find that even caring is hard.
Because if you care...
Then they might not care.
And that will hurt :-(
And I'd probably feel like they can't possibly care about me at any rate :-(
And they'd probably leave
Or I'd be terrified that they'd leave.Security. I have been in a relationship that was around that. In that case... I was the one being financially supported etc. But there... The other person wanted intimacy too. And I realised... They were too much a parent figure for me. I knew they wouldn't leave me. But... They could tell I didn't really want to be so very intimate with them (and not sexually intimate) so they turned controlling. Not wanting me to go out and be with other people etc. Afraid... I was going to leave I guess.
And...
I did leave. I wanted more.
But I felt so very guilty about that :-(
And sometimes I think... It would be only too easy for me to end up with someone solely out of security. And in the end... I think I'd feel resentful. I don't know. But othertimes... I think something anything has gotta be better than this. And... I do do better with security. I do.
:-(
poster:alexandra_k
thread:602095
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/603545.html