Posted by sunny10 on June 24, 2005, at 8:18:02
In reply to Re: Trying Again » sunny10, posted by Damos on June 23, 2005, at 17:43:02
I haven't been aware of physical symptoms until later. It happens mostly at night when I am trying to fall asleep.
My mind starts thinking negative things and I try really hard to think of other things (my "safe place" is a beach) and do the breathing thing, but the thoughts just keep whirling. They get more and more negative and I am awake half the night.
It usually happens on nights that I am alone (literally or figuratively), reading my book or watching tv until bed. Then as soon as my mind is not otherwise engaged, it starts this over-analyzing, over-thinking crap. If some of the thoughts were positive, I would think that this is my way of weighing situations. But all of the thoughts are negative and I know that it is depression talking (well, I know that AFTER the fact. While it is happening, it feels very real and the horror gives me my irritable bowel syndrome symptoms. And then it is the thoughts AND the trips to the bathroom keeping me awake at night).
Luckily, last night my cousin and her friend took me out to dinner as a belated b-day present. It was nice, and I slept well.
But I need to learn to be alone without assuming that I'll always be alone. That's the thought that keeps me up at night. That's what's under all of the negative thinking. It is all a manifestation of my fear of abandonment.
I wish that knowing that meant that it didn't happen anymore. But knowing doesn't seem to help at all.
So if my mind starts getting the best of me, this Bach Flower Remedy would help? Where would I look for it? I've never heard of it before...
poster:sunny10
thread:513088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/517947.html