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Re: I am trying » Susan47

Posted by sunny10 on June 22, 2005, at 7:39:18

In reply to Re: you never talk out of your *ss » sunny10, posted by Susan47 on June 21, 2005, at 22:36:00

I am sticking with the therapy and meds. Wish I wasn't too scared to self-medicate-- maybe a relief from fear would actually be a good thing( ! )

I had a session yesterday. I was anxious and weepy and we talked about what we need to work on to get me past this stuff. But most importantly, when I asked her for practical exercises I could try to get over the anxiety, she told me there are such things, but that I needed to experience this and get through this right now. That I was actually far too anxious to learn the exercises and that NOT be able to do them would be too frustrating for me at the moment. She offered an additional phone session instead "because I can see that you are not in a good place right now". I was flabbergasted. No T has ever been so understanding and willing to allow me to lean on them for support before. So, of course, I stuttered and said that I couldn't imagine what I would say in another session that I hadn't already covered in this session. She told me that I didn't have to say anything different. That she wanted me to know that she would be there just to support me if I wanted to rehash it again, or if I just wanted to check in so I knew I wasn't alone while getting through this. I agreed to call if I felt it would help at the time.

Wow. Maybe I finally found a T that can help.

And although I still feel very anxious and afraid, there is a small blossom of hope that this time could be different.

Maybe I can get down to my "frog to kiss" this time...

The prospect is staggering. A little scary ('cause everyone who gets something out of therapy says it's painful), but also hopeful.

I sent you a piece of snail mail yesterday. And I didn't say the same thing!!!

Thanks for your support, too, Susan. Don't know what I'd do without you.

MWAH
sunny10


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