Posted by Damos on June 19, 2005, at 17:48:32
In reply to Re: When you suffer from depression, how do you know » Damos, posted by sunny10 on June 16, 2005, at 7:29:22
I'd give the hole where my soul should be to know how to help you. I really would, cause seeing you stuggling hurts.
I don't know what to say other than that I eased those I felt I couldn't trust out of my life over time and it was hard. These were the ones whose presence just made things harder because even when things were good I just second and third guessed everything because I was just waiting for the next bad thing to happen with them. You know what I mean, Even though I loved them dearly and wanted to believe that they loved me, I always had the feeling that the next dose of pain was only a moment away.
On the other side of the coin I consiously chose to trust certain others more - too much if anything, because I was confident that they wouldn't hurt me deliberately and had proven to be sincerely sorry if they did by accident.
Sometimes I carried a friend whos judgement I value with me in my head and just asked myself how they would read a certain situation. Another part was learning to "play each ball on its merits". In other words forcing myself to focus totally just on this instance right now as it is. Not as the last one was or what I think might be coming next but this moment here now. I actually caught myself saying out loud once when I was feeling a little uncomfortable and starting to get ahead of myself, "Just this, here now."
But always, always Sunny dearest ensure that you are physically safe or simply not "at risk" in situations with those that have proven untrustworthy in the past.
poster:Damos
thread:513088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/515604.html