Posted by TamaraJ on June 15, 2005, at 14:17:11
In reply to Re: When you suffer from depression, how do you know » TamaraJ, posted by sunny10 on June 15, 2005, at 13:26:54
The agitation and restlessness could well be caused by the Wellbutrin, which is a more activating AD. I don't know much about Risperdal, but some of the restlessness and paranoia could also be the result of start-up side effects from that and the Wellbutrin. If you find you are not tolerating the Risperdal well, you could always discuss alternative meds with your pdoc. I think some people find Zyprexa helpful for racing thoughts. You could also ask your pdoc for a script for a low-dose of Klonopin to deal with the agitation.
That being said, you have been given reason not to trust one person in your life, because you caught him in a lie (or maybe it was more than one, I don't recall if you have mentioned more than one deception in previous posts). So, some of your distrust can be expected, IMO, and it will likely take some time for you to let your guard down and be able to trust him again, I think. It's hard not to rationalize and justify our thoughts of possibly being deceived or lied to when we have already been deceived. I think it tends to be a defence mechanism, albeit one that can cause us to question our own sanity and may result, as you have said, in others just telling us "what we want to hear". So, what can you do? Well, are you still in therapy? If so, perhaps you can discuss your reactions to others' responses to your questioning with your T to get an objective opinion as to whether you may be feelng deceived based on others' past actions. You could write down your thoughts, with a column where you would indicate what evidence there is that you are being lied to, and another column where you would indicate what evidence there may be to the contrary.
It is hard to trust again when we have been lied to. I think, though, that if we can slowly move beyond the deceptions and believe that others are not out to hurt us, we start to feel better about ourselves and our relationships.
I hope you can find a way to quiet down the unwelcome thoughts.
Take care,
Tamara
poster:TamaraJ
thread:513088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/513183.html