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Were you Only

Posted by susan47 on July 10, 2008, at 18:34:16

In reply to Susan47, posted by Damos on July 3, 2008, at 18:27:37

a real person, someone I knew, who knew me. Because you don't know me, and you can't love me because you don't know me.
Off drugs, I am not even on this site. Damos, do you know that the only Susan you've ever known is the stoned one, unless I emailed you privately, and even then, I have to be stoned to get up the nerve to face my computer.
Because the instrument of my expression, and the drug of that expression, have both become torture.
But I read things I've written, and Damos, they're All True.
All of them, even in the moments when I am Not Stoned, and I read things, they're true.
So being stoned did not cover my real essence.
What it did, is it was released through mj. But mj has many, many bad side effects.
And a feeling of unreality about my un-stoned self, is one of those.
And feeling badly about who I am on this site, is another.
And one day, I shall Recover.
I shall be stone-cold Straight, and Loving It.


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poster:susan47 thread:798806
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20080605/msgs/839173.html