Posted by susan47 on December 10, 2007, at 18:56:59
In reply to I Am So Cold, posted by susan47 on December 10, 2007, at 18:25:59
Inside there are unopened letters, unopened envelopes sent back to show that there is no point, I need to find someone or something else to communicate with, because there was never any communication with you. It was always a monologue, one I dreamt up and made real out of my need and the need lies unopened before me, in this envelope the story of the need will come alive and am I ready for the discovery? I wish I wish i wish yes, I see it is a letter addressed to me, and it is typed neatly and signed and this is of course my worst dread come alive again two years after the first time, three after the time before that, there are too many first times. And all the important things I had to say in the last letters have never been read, and now my heart really deserts me and without even having to open anything, I Know, and my fear for living is greater now than it ever has been, and the shaking Will Not Stop, and you are a bastard of the Greatest Degree. And I Know that within you there is the Greatest Threat to me, the loss of my desire to live because you have found me a fool.
Well, f*ck you.
F*ck you and No, No wonder you are who you are, congratulations for being that. That.
The remarkable thing is, that I feel like I might almost healing, almost healed, in the throes of being that myself, for me myself.
poster:susan47
thread:799808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20070425/msgs/800012.html