Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 5:52:28
it is funny how most people think 'mummy' (or 'mommy' i guess, depending on where you are from)
but i don't
i think 'daddy'
mother...
mental image of a stern woman
an aversive response
domineering
overpowering
distress
cornered
daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy
i loved you daddy
you didn't have to do much
just not hurt me
not hit me
not yell at me
not say horrible things to me
smile in my direction sometimes
but you left
you left me
and chin up i had to be good
'it is much better now 'cause now they don't fight any more'
thats what good mature girls say to the councellors
and cry quietly at night
where nobody can see
it still hurts
i wonder if it always will
i know some people think mummy / mommy
something about the womb
but not me
if guys gave birth it would make more sense
but they don't.
basic anatomical misunderstanding
again
there is something...
well there can be something
symbiotic about making love.
that can be beautiful
feeling happy
feeling safe
feeling protected
and warm
oh god i miss that so much.
not a daddy thing of course
but there isn't any such thing as a daddy thing
not once you get older
like guys and their mothers i guess.
what the hell am i rambelling about...
i don't know.
why didn't my parents love me?
sometimes it hurts so much.
poster:Estella
thread:673550
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060722/msgs/673550.html