Posted by gardenergirl on October 31, 2005, at 23:02:24
In reply to Re: Why does my husband keep ruining celebrations?, posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2005, at 18:27:33
Hi,
Yeah, it really stinks. We're working on it bit by bit. It's going to take awhile, though. And it's not so much about pressure, at least I don't think. It's about his needs and hurts, and his inability to express them. And then when he feels bad enough, he does something like this.He is not someone with a lot of close friends. Pretty much none since we moved here. Not a good situation considering I'm pretty involved with school still. And even if I were not, I can't be his only friend. It's too much pressure on me. Being intensely needed is a very triggering thing for me. My whole life I never got anything out of being needed by others. It's always pretty much been a drain on my system. Comes from being around and involved with too many narcissists (parents).
So I suppose some of the intensity of my hurt is tied up with that old stuff. Which he really couldn't predict, probably.
Still. I really really hate it.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:573235
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/573977.html