Posted by gardenergirl on October 30, 2005, at 22:05:28
In reply to Re: Why does my husband keep ruining celebrations? » gardenergirl, posted by Tamar on October 30, 2005, at 6:17:44
Thanks for the hugs and support, Tamar.
> ... Sometimes people find the pressure too much and end up being neglectful…Yeah, I can relate to this. Although in this case, and on my birthday this summer, he not only was neglectful, but intentionally hurtful via his neglect. It wasn't benign neglect, but an active choice. That's the hardest part for me to cope with. Although he says he doesn't know what else to do when his feelings reach that point. So he wants me to help him express his emotions more and better before he finds himself in that place again. I asked him if he could see my dilemma in wanting to avoid this happening again...wanting to help him, but at the same time, not wanting to make myself vulnerable to his doing this ever again. I feel like I should cancel Christmas as a self-protective measure. sigh
> And yet, I agree with Laurie that the most special times are often those that haven’t been planned. I’m wishing you one of those very soon.
Thanks, me too. We're going to go out on a "date" next Saturday night. In the meantime, I've put away all reminders of our anniversary, because it's just too painful to think about the loss. I hope our friends and family are done calling us to congratulate us. It's hard to explain why that makes me cry and need to get off the phone. :(
>Still feeling sorry for myself,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:573235
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051002/msgs/573612.html