Posted by Dinah on July 13, 2011, at 12:42:27
In reply to Re: T has always been good, now is stupid butthead » Dinah, posted by 10derheart on July 13, 2011, at 0:20:26
Yeah. My therapist and I were talking about the nature of therapy yesterday, and how therapy can almost be a setup for romantic or sexual transferences, or as with me, parental ones. So much is written about the deep psychological causes for patients falling in love. While very little is written about the fact that you've got two people meeting for extended periods of time, with much gazing into each other's eyes. It includes deepening intimacy of disclosure on one side, and the intimacy of listening and positive regard on the other. It is wired into us to see this as falling in love, one way or another.
I think my basic distrust kept me from being hurt worse than I have been hurt.
In some ways I suppose it can be a good thing - in good enough therapy. The client is in this nurturing environment and the love can increase the likelihood of committing to the process. Eventually the client would accept therapy for what it is and isn't, and take the lessons they've learned to find more reciprocal and fulfilling relationships elsewhere. They may or may not still see the benefit of continuing therapy, but the intensity would be lessened.
But I think in a lot of cases, the intensity doesn't lessen. Perhaps therapy is cut off before the natural ending. Or perhaps because of insecure attachment, the client clings. Or maybe the client doesn't ever feel the limitations of therapy, so the intensity never dies. The pain lingers for years and years.
It's troubling. I think to some extent I've been shielded over the years by a lack of trust. An inability to allow myself to completely enter the process without a disengaged and mocking observer. And when I finally did trust as much as I'm capable of trusting, my therapist had the genius (conscious or unconscious) to be more self disclosing in ways that popped the bubble more than a bit. And reawakened my distrust. I think it was more unconscious genius because I'm not sure he likes my reawakened distrust. :)
poster:Dinah
thread:990829
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110706/msgs/990919.html