Posted by wittgensteinz on March 11, 2009, at 14:34:39
In reply to Re: Negative transference » wittgensteinz, posted by lucie lu on March 11, 2009, at 12:00:36
Thanks for saying that - it's a very difficult diagnosis to bear, at least from my perspective. When you start to think about things, anything can feel like it fits. I remember convincing myself once that I had Asperger's syndrome because my mother, in one of her rages, accused me of being autistic and socially inept.
I'm probably going to be guilty of doing exactly what my pdoc did to me but I suspect my mother does in fact have BPD, and my T suspects so too. She will never see a pdoc or T so will never be diagnosed, but reading several books on borderline parents/mothers I was confronted by how very closely they fitted my own experiences of my mother. The rages, the idealisation and denigration - the sheer anger and at moments complete lack of control. Of course my fear is that I will become 'just like my mother', so this label carries a particular burden. I don't honestly think I have this condition.
As I wrote in my reply to BSD, I parted with pdoc 1 on good terms, as far as I am aware. I know exactly what was sent from him to pdoc 2 because I had to post the document myself. I did ask current pdoc if my previous pdoc had added to the file and he said "no". So, I don't think it was anything coming from a bitter pdoc. At the time he was busy rennovating his house and I don't think he had the interest to send any malicious reports to my new pdoc. I wasn't a difficult patient as far as I'm aware.
Thanks for sticking up for me :)
Witti
poster:wittgensteinz
thread:884840
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/884888.html