Posted by antigua3 on March 11, 2009, at 16:04:02
In reply to Re: Negative transference » antigua3, posted by wittgensteinz on March 11, 2009, at 14:57:41
>
> The thing with strong negative-transference is that the effect tends to be one of re-traumatization. I literally feel 'just' like I did as a young child during one of my mother's rages. I feel sheer panic and terror and start dissociating.
>>>>This is exactly what I said to my pdoc last night. The re-experiencing of the abuse events at this point is nowhere near as re-traumatizing as dealing with him right now. It's horrible.
> It certainly doesn't sound like a simple or professional situation between your pdoc and your T. The way you write about him, I feel an aversion to him, if I am honest
>>>Honestly, it depends on how I choose to write about him. Sometimes he really surprises me.But I can't see him clearly and we are having trouble communicating lately. Too much, too fast, he says; I'm in overload and unfortunately he doesn't think he accepts any responsibility for putting me there, although I definitely was complicit, but more importantly, he helped put me there and then left me high and dry, not able or dare I say willing? to help.
>> where does your T stand in terms of this - does she approve of your seeing him for therapy?
>>>She can only know what I tell her and I'm so blinded I don't know what's true about him anymore, so all she can do is offer support and encouragement. She agrees that leaving now would cause more harm than good in the long run, but is keeping a keen eye on the situation w/me.
>>What are the alternatives? It's not too late - it's never too late to reassess your treatment plan. Is this the only way to go about things? Do you feel trapped?
>
>>>Yes, I feel very trapped, in a trap of my own making, which makes me feel sick. I can't figure out if I'm being abused again by this therapy or not.I'll stop now. I didn't mean to hijack your thread.
Sorry,
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:884840
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/884895.html