Posted by slugdoo on August 8, 2007, at 16:39:29
In reply to Re: When to stay, and when to move on » Nathan_Arizona, posted by frida on August 8, 2007, at 12:28:24
I think my choice to move on wasn't an overnight decison, it was something on my mind a lot this year. I feel the chemistery between my T and me is special, but it wasn't taking care of my therapy needs good enough. Not that he is a bad T, I think he is only human, and I think he liked me a whole lot more than he will admit even to himself. I believe he lost his objectivity somewhat, thinking I was really "recovered" because of higher functionality.
But I knew for a long time something wasn't right, I even tried to believe him and try to be all right, well it did't work. My present is triggering my past. I am not suffering from PTSD any longer, but I believe I still trigger and act irrational especially involving my anger when I feel threatened. (perceived and real sometimes)
. And this new T agrees that we should dive in when I am ready to the deeper stuff. The EMDR will be a big part of it.
I was even thinking that when I terminated with my old T at the end of the year as we planned, I was going to try to find a new T. In a way, getting angry at him and feeling really hurt by him almost made it easier for me to move on. Plus since that last session, I have calmed down, and I still feel hurt and less angry at him, but I see what he has given to me. It is kinda bittersweet really.
But in reality, I think he should have stopped the therapy relationship, but maybe it would have caused more harm that way I think, but things became muddy over the last year with the boundries and I feel therapy wasn't being as productive as it should have been.
I feel like it is a fresh new start, it is like I can get a different perspective and hopefully grow even more. My T said my old T did a good job getting me started, but he was going to fine tune me and get me to where I need to be for my personal, educational (phd. work IS stressful) , and my future employment.It was kinda funny today, my new T has in his office displays of his family and he started to show them, then remembered what I said, and then looked at me, and I covered my eyes and and said "I am NOT looking". lol He laughed, who knows what he is thinking, but oh, well, I got my point across. LOL
I think I can work with this guy and I believe I made the right desison. I have learned a lot from this process.
I am a concerned that my T might be angry and hurt , he really did enjoy working with me, and he took pride in what he said"damn good job " he has done with me. But I think I wore him out. LOL And not working with me will hopefully help with his heart condition. ;-) But I still might sneak a look at those lovely legs once in a while. ;-) But I am going to move on like Llupsie said, HF style! :-)
poster:slugdoo
thread:774336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/774867.html