Posted by muffled on December 7, 2006, at 15:08:49
In reply to sharing details IRL » LlurpsieBlossom, posted by ElaineM on December 7, 2006, at 10:55:13
> When people say things here, I have kind emotions, but no judgement. But I worry that that's only because I think I'm lower than others. You know. If I had some esteem (like normal people have) would I judge then? Do "normal" people who like themselves, look down at others who do, or say things that they'd never want connected to *their* person/life?**I'm like you El. I have somne self esteem now. But part of me knows that I am the scum of the earth...
People DO judge people. Its a sad fact of life. Not all people are safe. In fact some are positively toxic. But there ARE those that ARE safe, and those are the ones you need in your life.
>
> I guess sometimes people do say some specifics. But mostly we just say a sentence, to encapsulate what has happened, or what our diagnosis is, or whatnot. Or even just hint at, and suggest in a subtle way. I'm scared of the raw details. Which I don't think I've seen much posted here. ANd that's probably cause it's too private, I guess. Not always the right place. (I wouldn't ever say it here. I'm not asking for that) But I'd need to IRL. Need to soon. And I don't know how to do that. I don't even want details in my own head, nevermind coming out of my mouth infront of someone who I'm a person to, and not only a patient/client. :-(**There have been some that have posted raw details. I dunno how they have felt about it in the long run, but i know they sruggled with it at the time. I don't think anyone looked down on them, and I do beleive it helped them be able to tell others in the end. Could you write it down? Most of my stuff i write to my T,then we talk about it, cuz i just freeze up when I try and talk about myself...
> I did - partly. I'm really proud that i took care of myself that way. But I mean *personal* help in the long-run. Someone to be with me after. Different from a therapist - even a good one.
**You have been working hard at taking care of yourself all along El! I'm not sure what it is your looking for, but that may be part of that which you don't wish to say.
My T has said that just saying stuff to a person takes some of the power out of it? Dunno.> I'm relieved you don't think hearing bad stuff is gross or condemnable. Is that just cause you can't see me? does that kinda make me not a real person, so then it's hard to generate a feeling as strong as disgust or hate, for a "ghost"?
**I also don't think of you as a ghost El. You are a person like me, typing away their pain, trying desprately to feel better, feeling for others who post, and wishing we could help somehow....
> I trust you. I trust a good number of people here. I have no trust in the rest of the world :( I just need to figure out what to do now. And how to tolerate.**I can't offer too much in the trust department. I don't trust many either. But there are those you can. I have some I pretty much trust.
I totally understand you not wanting to say much. But at the same time I wonder if it would be useful? AS far as babble support, I guess you could meet w/someone in chat at a specific time, mebbe in room 2, and post in room 1, that you would like privacy....
Or you could b-mail a trusted person...
I think there are many who want to try and make things a little easier for you in some way, no matter how small it seems, as you have had such hard struggles, and I think you are admired for your contiunued work at bettering your situation, no matter how hard. I think we all want to see things get a little better for you. I think we all feel that your kind and desrve a break.
Best to you El,
I hope things go OK for you,
I honestly do.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:711037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/711200.html