Posted by ElaineM on December 6, 2006, at 20:41:42
[not about doctor or my T]
if you already feel humiliated, how can you convince yourself to volunteer for a little more of it by speaking to someone who knows you, who's in your real-life? :( Especially when there's no guarantees of anything helpful coming of it or how someone will react. How do you tell someone something that makes you seem bad, or that is bad? what if they hate you after. how do you know that it won't make it worse - make you feel even worse. Or does it always make it better. How do you make "the telling" not just add on to the original thing?
I know this isn't real-life and only a board, but when people have posted "bad" things here have you kinda been repulsed by them before? Is it different if you don't have to actually look at the person? :""(
I don't know what to do now. I'm so afraid for myself. Just sitting doing nothing for days - re-playing. I can't stop. My brain has always been so used to aloneness and nothing and empty that i don't ever think. and i don't speak. and I don't ever see. (tears again) Until later. Then it never leaves. And I hate myself more. i need help. :'(
blove el
poster:ElaineM
thread:711037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/711037.html