Posted by kerria on July 17, 2005, at 18:13:54
In reply to Re: Parts coming out in therapy » kerria, posted by cricket on July 17, 2005, at 13:05:48
Hi Cricket,
The last days since i saw T on Thursday i've been convincing myself that seeing T has been a mistake. i think that he's too negative in his method of therapy and my self esteem is too bad to endure listening to the way he talks to me. It borders on abusive.
Maybe i just see it that way- i thought of that also but in reality i'm not getting any better and i'm in a dangerous place when i see T because i feel so hopeless and terrible about myself. It isn't even safe.
There's never been any kind of real relationship at all. T is always an uncaring stranger and i don't think i can ever talk to him about issues that i need to. He's too critical and too negative to trust. i'm negative about myself too so it's not a good balance.
What do i do now? He refuses to refer me to anyone else and it's so hard to find a T. If i can find another T i don't want the new T to see me the same way T does.
problem- there is no new T. i'm getting ahead of myself. i can't see myself going to my T anymore though. It's over.
i don't know what to do about the appts coming up. i already wrote to T that i didn't want to come. He didn't answer - i don't know how it stands, whether he scheduled someone else or not. i should make an appt to talk to him but it's so painful. it hurts so much becuse T is the only one in the world that knows all my parts. i wish that he didn't have to be so uncaring to make therapy impossible.Cricket, i'm sorry that you feel isolated- i know how lonely it feels. i'm glad it helps to write here. Have you been coming here for a long time?
Take care,
kerria
poster:kerria
thread:527396
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050716/msgs/529193.html