Posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2017, at 17:02:01
I didn't get in. I really thought I was going to, but the deadlines on outcomes for applications have passed and the meetings of the committees.
I don't know why they kept advertising public seminars for me to attend. It feels like cruely stringing me along. Or maybe I was supposed to see that there are plenty of non-medically trained graduates being employed to do medical research... Perhaps they just thought I'd settle into that, here. Which is of course pretty much going back to what I was doing before. No patients. No practice of medicine. No practice of surgery... And why would I have wasted so very many years of my life... To end up fairly much where I was, however many years ago back to theoretical research that is so far removed from any practical difference in any persons life... I don't really want to do research. It's not good for me. Once again, low level teaching staff or theoretical researchers decide what is best for me while completely ignoring what I know about what I need and what is good for myself such that I can contribte in a way that is meaningful respectful of what I know of my strengths. The swans... Saw me, and didn't want me. Or, didn't see me, or, whatever. I don't know why. It doesn't matter why. The outcome is the same. It really doesn't matter why.
I'm done with NZ. I did everything in my power to get to be in he position where I could help with the development of med. Which involves med training - so you learn why certain things must be thus and so. And I made the GPA. And they just decided that, no, I can settle into something else. They have 300, or 450 other people who would all more likely contribute more to the practice and devo of med in NZ than me if they are to be accepted to med next year. Whatever. I'm done. Or maybe that is what they want. For me to go away. Maybe they decided that I'm not so good for them after all since I can't get excited about rat reaearch, or, whatever, that's got next to nothing to do with humans. Maybe they want med researchers who are more willingly complicit in handing over nz data to foreign interests.
I feel that NZ is like a terrible toddler in the developed world. It doesn't know how to do civilised business, yet. It can't be trusted to do honest business, it can't get it's own people looking after themselves. Eating their greens. Not putting themselves into dangerous situations. I think there are segments of the developed world who are just waiing for this country to grow up and start by saying 'no, thats not in our intetests' when it comes to international trades and relations. Education of our citizens. And so on...
Anyway... Other people think they know better than me and aren't respecful enough of me to allow me to make the contribution... To train me... To allow me the experiences...
I'm done. You can have his country back, now, thanks. I don't like the noise it makes.
Probably... It's a matter of 'carry on'. I mean, some people are doin so well. They are having a blast. Want younger and naiever.. Yessir, nosir, anythingyousaysir... Our health system is the best in the world just the way it is!
I'm done with his country. Wasting my life in this hell hole with no basic respect for my human needs. Bullying Tonga and so on. I'm sick to my stomach of here. This country has... Never shown the most basic level of respect for me. It... Will not allow me to be a person.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1096433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20151112/msgs/1096433.html