![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 97 to 121 of 191. Go back in thread:
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 15, 2004, at 14:27:10
In reply to Re: Change of location, posted by fallsfall on January 15, 2004, at 12:54:52
No one, and I mean NO ONE, touches Bean but ME!! I think, no let me rephrase that, I KNOW Karen would traumatize his innocent nature.
He had a new pair of shoes today - mocassins with thick rubber soles - black suede. Just as gross as the topsiders.
Fallsfall, I like to watch too....
Posted by All Done on January 15, 2004, at 15:37:11
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts » Elle2021, posted by Karen_kay on January 15, 2004, at 12:07:16
> Ok, Elle, looks like we're going with DC so fallsfall can join us. But she says she just wants to "sit in the corner and watch" Do you know what that means? I'm not sure what to make of it jsut yet either. But, I'm not giving up my front row spot, neither with my therapist nor for running of best looking attende. And check out the agenda for 2 and 3 place. Of course we can make adjustments once we get together and have a chance to "see" eachother. But of course we all know I have the best personality and that is the Number 1 factor here!
Thanks for the invite (over on PBP) to join you guys, Karen! I would be more than happy to attend. And as a thank you for the invite, I will tape the next Mr. Bean marathon when it airs in Chicago and we can pop that in the VCR.
By the way, I'll take one of the corners...for now. ;)
Posted by Karen_kay on January 15, 2004, at 16:05:40
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts » Karen_kay, posted by All Done on January 15, 2004, at 15:37:11
Now, when I said therapist did everyone not check the agenda and see that my (MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY) young, suave handsome crass and sometimes inappropriate therapist would be joining us? Miss Honey, you fired yours. Must we amend the agenda to include a presentation on reading abilities and paying attention in class? Now ladies, I work hard on these agendas, let's not make me stop....
Also, when I metioned the group session what images arise in your heads? Am I the only one laughing here? Everyone is so quick to sit in the corner and watch, it's scaring me....../Can't you at least make yourself useful and get some liquor, ky, somethin?
Posted by Karen_kay on January 15, 2004, at 16:07:06
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts » Karen_kay, posted by All Done on January 15, 2004, at 15:37:11
No one needs an invite.....Feel free to "jump right in" And please get out of the corner....Oh, and the son isn't invited....much too young..Sorry :) Unless we can check him with the bags
Posted by Karen_kay on January 15, 2004, at 16:36:54
In reply to Re: Here's lookin at you kid47, hmmmm... » Karen_kay, posted by kid47 on January 15, 2004, at 12:52:09
Was there a question at all? I really don't recall one. Oh yeah, I asked why don't don't post more frequently, but you did reply. Something about how I intimidate you. And that's OK, I have that affect on people. Is it my grace, charm, wit, sense and sensibility, my persuasiveness? Oh, this list could go on forever but I don't want to make you feel even more inferior than you already do. (And that's ok, ask Miss Honey, she's been living in my shadow for quite some time :) *Miss Honey, how do you put up with my constant insults, honestly hun? Aren't you sick of it by now? I'm waiting for you to get me back but I'm afraid that the silicon has sprung a leak...(Oh, adn that was a low one my friend....You should have never told me your size because I am SOOOOOOO jealous!)
So kid, anytime you want to chime in and tell me how wonderful I am, I'm willing to listen. Just be sure you say it loud enough for Miss Honey to hear as well :)
Posted by All Done on January 15, 2004, at 17:12:07
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts » All Done, posted by Karen_kay on January 15, 2004, at 16:07:06
> No one needs an invite.....Feel free to "jump right in" And please get out of the corner....Oh, and the son isn't invited....much too young..Sorry :) Unless we can check him with the bags
LOL
BTW, I was thinking as long as I'm there, if you'd like, you can borrow my breasts. They are much too much for me. If anyone else needs extra nose, hips, or height I've got that, too. ; )
I'll take assertiveness and/or confidence in exchange!
Posted by Karen_kay on January 15, 2004, at 17:23:59
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts » Karen_kay, posted by All Done on January 15, 2004, at 17:12:07
I could use some hips if you got em... As for the height, I'm 5 9 what about you? I could stand for some extra junk in my trunk too, but can't I just get that taken out of my belly?
Posted by All Done on January 15, 2004, at 17:33:11
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts » All Done, posted by Karen_kay on January 15, 2004, at 17:23:59
> I could use some hips if you got em... As for the height, I'm 5 9 what about you? I could stand for some extra junk in my trunk too, but can't I just get that taken out of my belly?
I'm a mere 5 7 1/2, so not *that* much extra to spare, but some if someone really needed it, I would share.
Just so everyone knows, I'm not going to share my hair. Too much time and money spent on it...
Posted by Elle2021 on January 15, 2004, at 19:43:42
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts » Elle2021, posted by Karen_kay on January 15, 2004, at 12:07:16
> And check out the agenda for 2 and 3 place.
Yes, I noticed you tried to put me in third, but once you see me, you will move me right back up to second, this I am sure of. :)
By the way...I went to a new eye doctor today and he is HOT!
Elle
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 16, 2004, at 8:29:54
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts » Karen_kay, posted by Elle2021 on January 15, 2004, at 19:43:42
O you girls are so very, very naive....
I am assuming I may be eldest of the sleepover bunch so far?? (34 soon to be 35 on FEB 18th). Don't you know women get better with time? I am 5'9 as well, have PLENTY of junk in my trunk, already have the infamous 36-Ds, dainty hands where my pinky sticks out, and hair to freaking die for (or dye for as is my case. I satrted getting gray at 16!)
So Miss Honey is Top dog. The rest of you can fight it out for yourselves...
Posted by Elle2021 on January 16, 2004, at 10:23:35
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 16, 2004, at 8:29:54
I just realized I can't be second (or especially third) to anyone. So, I have to be first, even if it's all by myself. :) Maybe that dx really does fit? Hehe!
First in Everything,
Elle
Posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 14:18:16
In reply to Re: Sadly disappointed in previous attempts, posted by Elle2021 on January 16, 2004, at 10:23:35
But I must say that my therapist may have to make the final decision on this matter. And I do believe he would pick me over any one of you haggard ladies. Now, I know you are quite upset at this revalation, but I assure you, you are all quite beautiful in your own way. Just not nearly as beautiful as I am. And my shrink told me so, So take that! And what's this about fighting over first place anyway? I thought it was DECIDED that I was in first place. That decision was already made. Feel free to fight over first and second as much as you like, but not first. Oh no, I take first. And of course, I win Miss Congeniality as well because we all know that I have the best personality. Which isn't too hard considering the options. I mean to say that you ladies are rather boring. Now, don't take that the wrong way or anything :)
So, do we need to create a new agenda for the beauty pageant as well? I mean my therapist can be the judge. We could also invite Bean to sit as second chair if you feel that Bubba (as we'll now refer to my therapist) may be biased to yours truly. But Miss Honey, I assure you, I'll win Bean's heart as well. He'll end up calling me all the time and I'll have to finally tell him, "Look Sir, if you don't stop harassing me I'll have a talk with Miss Honey and she'll start wearing a short skirt during sessions. Do you really want that to happen?" Hmmmmm... Maybe it will have a good outcome for all parties involved. Bean sees more leg, you finally win your therapist's heart, and I come in First Place at the beauty pageant! This sleep over should be fun!!!! And Miss Honey, I too started going grey at 16. What's with that????? My hair dresser always commments on it. I'm always telling her to shut her mouth and fix it! What color's your hair? Right now, mine's dark brown with blonde highlights. And by the way, when you get older, stuff starts to sag.....Sorry to have to tell you that :)
Posted by All Done on January 16, 2004, at 15:23:18
In reply to Sorry to ruin your delusions, posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 14:18:16
> So, do we need to create a new agenda for the beauty pageant as well?
May I?
Opening number - We all sing and dance to Dr. Bob’s homepage theme song “Life Goes On”. Karen sings much too loud and must be moved to the back row to allow the more reserved fallsfall and All Done to be heard.
Swimsuits – Miss Honey, 5’ 9”, 36-D, junk in the trunk. Nuff said.
Evening gowns – Elle, the classy one of the bunch, wins this portion due to her fabulous tan and inner glow after spending many months on vacation at Club Med.
Talent – After moving to the front row of the opening number, All Done uses her new found confidence to sing a lovely ballad, but fallsfall takes over with exciting, patriotic renditions of show tunes Yankee Doodle and You’re A Grand Old Flag.
Interviews - Although I hate to admit it, Karen takes the lead during this portion of the competition. Ladies, our responses pale in comparison to Karen’s and we are all put to shame when, after coming out of the sound proof booth, are asked the question, “how will you use what you learn in therapy to achieve world peace?”
Karen is announced the winner of the pageant and accepts her crown and roses with actual tears streaming down her face. Unfortunately, as she is making her walk down the runway, she has a clumsy moment in the enormous shoes she is wearing and falls flat on her face. She is immediately disqualified for lack of grace and the runner up must fulfill her duties as Ms. Social Babble.
Fight ensues as to who is runner up...
Posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 16:05:25
In reply to Re: Sorry to ruin your delusions » Karen_kay, posted by All Done on January 16, 2004, at 15:23:18
Ummm, sorry but your pathetic attempt to outdo me has amounted to a disqualification for YOU! /You forgot to include a time to go along with the schedule!
That was freaking awesome! OMG! How did you know I was so clumsy and would surely fall on my face? But the disqualification just doesn't seem fair :( It's the meds I tell you, the meds!That was too much! I don't think I've laughed so hard in quite a while. Well, since the last time I read one of my own posts anyway. (I know I sound so conceited, but I have good reason to be you know..) I really like the way you helped boost everyone else up though. Usually my attempt at humor is to have everyone else fall down, except me. Maybe I should try your way. Naaa... I like my way better. You know, my way is better. I'd have to agree that Miss Honey would win the swim suit competition, with those boobs she has, even if they aren't real. And yes, Elle would win the evening gown, with her poise and grace, as well as that fabulous tan. Even if she does develope a skin rash several weeks later from all the weeks in the sun. And yes, I do agree that even you would win the talent portion with your song. But you may get a case of bronchitis from all that practicing you did on the flight up to DC, causing you to miss countless weeks of work and lose your car in the process. Was it worth it???
But, you failed to mention Fallsfall. What role does she play in this demented version of a beauty pageant? Well, due to this misshap I'd venture to say your agenda again fails to meet the criteria required for a realistic view of the happenings of our sleepover beauty pageant....Fallsfall:
Since you'd only like to watch, you can be the Former Miss Social Babble. Your duties are to sing the first song, "Foxy Lady" By Jimi Hendrix, primp the ladies before they go onstage, which includes helping those who don't have boobs put fake ones in and helping those who do duct tape them down (and yes Miss Honey, regulation standards and I've heard it HURTS!!!! HA HA!), Helping Karen comb ehr hair (EEEKKK!!! Stay away from me with that thing! Mommy!), showing Elle how to wear makeup properly without using blue eyeshadow (and i know you wear blue eyeshadow Elle!) , Crowning the new Miss Social Babble, breaking up the fight (watch out for flying punches and scratching fingernails), looking for pantylines, flirting with the judges (but not TOO much, you hear me!) and singing the first song, "Life Goes On" Also, you must aid in escorting Karen out when she sings too loud (BTW, how'd you know I'd do that, are you watching me at other pageants?)...Fallsfall, these are important and strenuous duties, doyou choose to accept them? We need you help to make this pageant run adn crown me, KAREN, Miss Social Babble. Please hlep me to run this place....
Posted by Elle2021 on January 16, 2004, at 16:30:28
In reply to You forgot the time :( » All Done, posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 16:05:25
Evening Gown: Karen attempts to score extra points with Bubba by putting an extra wiggle and bounce in her step. Unfortunately, she has chosen the most chunkiest shoes ever to walk on stage with, over-does it and falls on her bum. Elle wins, because as All Done mentioned, she is the classy one!
Talent: Fallsfall brings a portable ice-skating rink and does a lovely number right before intermission. All Done performs her patriotic songs and takes first in that portion of the contest. Oh by the way Karen, "walking seductively" isn't a suitable talent, so you have to choose another one or be disqualified.
Swimsuit: Optional, and completely separate contest. Therefore, does not count against the rest of us... There Miss Honey, take that!!!!
Interview: Karen wins, but only because she turns the tables and asks the therapists questions... ;)These questions cause the therapists to feel like what they have to say is even remotely important, therefore they vote Karen on this part.
Finals: Elle takes first, as usual. Who wants to be the runner-ups??
And by the way my dear Karen, I do not wear blue eye shadow! I wear a very *classy* black eyeliner, no shadow needed.
Elle
Posted by All Done on January 16, 2004, at 16:45:58
In reply to You forgot the time :( » All Done, posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 16:05:25
> How did you know I was so clumsy and would surely fall on my face?
I've heard about your chunky shoe addiction...
> But, you failed to mention Fallsfall.
Just for the record I did not fail to mention fallsfall. Note the following:
"Talent – After moving to the front row of the opening number, All Done uses her new found confidence to sing a lovely ballad, BUT FALLSFALL takes over with exciting, patriotic renditions of show tunes Yankee Doodle and You’re A Grand Old Flag." FALLSFALL sings the patriotic show tunes. Get it? Patriotic, D.C. Do I have to explain *everything* to you ladies?
I happen to like yours and Elle's ideas for fallsfall, though, so we can use those.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 17:20:01
In reply to Oh Karen...., posted by Elle2021 on January 16, 2004, at 16:30:28
I have plenty of talents that one could only hope to learn from yours truly. Now, let's try this one more time. BTW, slathering on black eyeliner with a crayon is not classy, regardless of what your mum says...
Now, to fix this messsed up agenda and put Karen backin first place and take Elle out of the pageant completely....
Pageant begins with judges entering room. Bean motions for Karen to come sit on his lap. Karen waves her finger in the air, her lips saying "No no, but her eyes saying, "Yes yes." Bubba comes into the room and motions for Karen to sit on his lap. Karen holds up her finger, so as to say, "In a minute baby, now is not the time but it is the place (we are in a hotel room you know!)."
Fallsfall walks out on stage with her head held high, a bit too high as she stumbles, falls and is knocked unconscious. She must remain lying on the bed the remainder of the pageant. Bean makes a move to lie down next to her, but Miss Honey makes it known that she will have no such happenings while she is in the room. Bean sits back down in his judge's chair with a defeated look on his face. Miss Honey is noticably upset that her therapist tried to make a move on Fallsfall and she immedietly breaks out in hives from stress.
The ladies begin with a lovely version of "Life Goes On." Karen sings a bit too loud, but the judges don't mind, as she constantly turns around and bends over to pick up a fallen flower that fell out of her hair. The judges applaud widely. Elle elbows Miss Honey and the both make sour faces. The judges note the lack of enthusiasm by both Miss Honey adn Elle. All Done sings nicely. Karen wins round one easily, with All Done coming in a distant second.
Score:
Karen 5
All Done 3
Miss Honey 1
Elle 1Round 2 Talent
Elle begins this round and is determined to bring her score up. Can she do it? Doubtful, as she isn't very talented. But, read on adn we'll see..
Elle shimmies on stage in a dress that is so tight she had to sew it on. The judges like this, except the missing breasts. Sorry Elle, no offence. Elle decides to twirl a flaming baton as her talent. Obviously she's never done it before in the past. As the baton is thrown in the air, she tries to turn and her dress splits down the back, revealing granny panties. Yes folks GRANNY PANTIES! Elle catches the baton with tears in her eyes, runs crying of stage (with the song Eye of the Tiger playing in the distance), trips and falls on the way out. Elle is left feeling humiliated. (Sorry to have to do this to you Elle, but you just can't win. SORRY! IF you play with fire, you're bound to get burned!) All Done runs out on stage with new found confindence. She's certain she won't mess up as badly as Elle did and her song begins, "I Will Always Love you." As she's singling beautifuly, she notices the roast beef she had for dinner didn't settle so well and it's making it way up. She thinks she can hold it but can she really? You guessed it folks! As she's belting out the high notes, she also lets out the loudest freaking burp I've ever heard in my life! Karen and Elle are backstage and the judges can hear their laughter. All Done resumes the song without hesitation, though the judges can ac6tually smell the roast beef. This makes Bean begin to pick his teeth adn Bubba elbows him. Karen seductively walks out on stage wearing a leopard print leotard. The music beins adn the song is "Ziggy Stardust" by David Bowie. She begins a grueling session of yoga with various sexual positions, much to the likings of the judges. Miss Honey then comes out dressed in a swanky red dress, which is low cut. The judges likie already. They stand and applaud. Miss Honey begins skipping around stage, obviously not wearing a bra and suddenly a breast jumps out and hits her in the face, knocking her unconscious. She is carried to the bed with Fallsfall, to see if she will awaken later in the pageant. (Oh girlies, that is tooooo much! Miss Honey, are you ok??? :)The Score
Miss Honey 5
Karen 4
All Done 3
Elle 2Evening Gown
Karen walks out on stage wearing a red dress that is low cut. The judges ask her a question about changing the world and she says that she hopes one day to become a therapist, because her therapist has changed her in SOOO many ways, making her a woman instead of a little girl. They love the answer. She bends down to adjust her shoe, and shows a bit more cleavage. The judges look. Unfortunetly, Miss Honey awakens at this point and goes into a rage, breaking lamps and pulling off Bean's toupe. Bean is infuriated at this point and calls security. The issue is resolved and Miss Honey changes into her evening gown. Elle marches out on stage wearing blue jeans and a denim jacket. She says she opposes any type of evening gown competition as it portrayes women as barbie dolls instead of working girls. She clumps backstage and the judges scratch their heads. All Done walks on stage wearing a mint green dress. The dress has ruffles and sequins. One of the sequins falls off and All Done slips on it, falling to the floor. Karen stands back stage laughing, as does Elle and Miss Honey. Miss Honey parades on stage with a black eye wearing a black dress. She is asked what she would do to change the world and she answers, "I would like to give everyone a free massage, starting with Bean." Bean likes the answer, Bubba doesn't.
The score
Karen 5
Miss Honey 4
All Done 3
Elle 2Final Score
Karen 14
Miss Honey 10
All Done 9
Elle 5So, who's the winner of this beauty pageant. I think the story and final results speak for itself, don't you? And Miss Honey, the only reason you came in second is because your boob popped out. Keep that in mind, won't you?
Posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 17:25:50
In reply to Re: You forgot the time :(, posted by All Done on January 16, 2004, at 16:45:58
Ohhh... Pardon me for not reading every word you write... :) I like the addition too. But, check out my new, improved BETTER agenda. I think the results are far more accurate of what would likely happen if we were to get together...I especially like the mishaps that Miss Honey encounters....
Posted by fallsfall on January 16, 2004, at 20:49:13
In reply to Re: You forgot the time :( » All Done, posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 17:25:50
Since I have more maturity and experience than you youngsters, I will be happy to help you in your quest to be the best.
I, however, will be competing in the Master's division. Of course, I come in First in my division.
I'm really looking forward to the sleepover more than the competition. I'll ask my daughter if I can borrow her Ouija board.
Posted by All Done on January 17, 2004, at 1:44:27
In reply to Re: Oh Elle....Try this again. » Elle2021, posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 17:20:01
Karen,
Lovely attempt at a description of the events. ROFL! I must commend you on your accuracy of my attire. How did you know that I adore mint green with ruffles and sequins? You forgot to add the bolero jacket, spiked-heel-white-lace-up boots, and permed hair, though. (Can you tell I suffered my adolescence throughout the 80's?)
And Elle, honestly, baton twirling to Eye of the Tiger? It's 2004! But I must admit, albeit somewhat begrudgingly, that prior to my mint green dress wearing days, I was a baton twirler and most likely used that exact song for one of my "routines". So humiliated :(.
However, Karen, I do believe you missed a huge portion of the events. You know, the part when my therapist, we'll call him Beefcake for obvious reasons, came to save me from the likes of all of you. Once he heard of the unfair judging, Beefcake immediately hopped on a plane to D.C. to act as a tiebreaker. I mean, it really wasn't a problem with his schedule or anything considering he has no other clients besides me, of course. The only problem for him may have been choosing his wardrobe for the occassion. Too many fantastic choices, I believe.
Needless to say, once Beefcake, looking quite handsome, arrives at the competition, he is immediately horrified by Bean's attire and appalled at Bubba's incessant staring at Karen's pumped up Miracle Bra cleavage. Clearly being the most dignified of the judges, he calmly and rationally explains that All Done must be declared the winner of the competition since Karen, Elle, and Miss Honey have been fighting in the corner with the fire baton for the last hour and a half.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 17, 2004, at 10:59:57
In reply to Don't forget my division, posted by fallsfall on January 16, 2004, at 20:49:13
The Master's? As in the MC??? I'm confused, but your wealth of Knowledge seems to be streaming over my head (and that isn't sarcastic or a joke of any sort) I'm just unfamiliar with the Master's division... Please enlighten me.
And I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to get involved with the rigorous envolvement of the Beauty Pageant. Though, I assure you it's no contest. But, it will be a self esteem blow to the others when I arrive and knock them out of the water. They'll run screaming from the room when they soon realize that they just aren't up to par. It's a good thing that the judges are therapists, though they will be too busy cuddling and cooing after me to bother trying to meet the emotional needs to the other competitors...TOO BAD LADIES!!!!
Though, the sleep over will be great fun. I'll prance around in my new crown and sash. And of course Miss Honey will be wearing her bikini, much to the regret of the rest of us, as we feel she has no business wearing one :) Elle will still be wearing her split dress and granny panties and All Done will be in the corner trying to refresh her skills at baton twirling. And you Fallsfall, I believe you will be trying to keep the peace or stay out of the way.... Ladies, this is getting interesting... :) Let's keep this thread going :)
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 17, 2004, at 11:49:21
In reply to Re: Don't forget my division » fallsfall, posted by Karen_kay on January 17, 2004, at 10:59:57
Ladies, ladies, ladies....
I take one Friday night off and look what I come back to! Mass confusion, mass DELUSION, granny panties, sequins, a new Therapist judge (Beefcake), and whiplash due to an unruly breast. When will the madness stop?
I have several points to clarify:
1. Bean does NOT wear a toupee, he has a full head of hair, thank you very much. It is not receding, he is not balding.
2. Miss Honey knows the finer points of beauty pageant etiquette and knows that double sided tape is her friend on the stage. However, I choose to ammend my whiplash to when I am sitting in Bean's lap during the evening gown competition when Karen falls, Elle starts busting out some 80s dance moves (a la cabbage patch and running man - completely horrifying everyone), All Done has some logistical issues even I am too embarassed to talk about, and Fallsfall is too busy easting prunes in the corner to care what is going on :)
3. There seems to be some delusion that Karen wins MIss Congeniality or the interview section or whatever. LIttle does she know that loose lips sink ships and hers are plenty loose! Maybe Bubba appreciates her witty remarks and refreshing candor, but Bean will be absolutely horrified (scoring her a 0)and Beefcake will be too busy looking at Miss Honey's 36Ds to listen to anything Karen has to say (scoring her a -1).
4. Fallsfall, PLEASE bring that ouija board!
Posted by Elle2021 on January 17, 2004, at 12:45:40
In reply to Miss Honeychurch - Bean's Beauty, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 17, 2004, at 11:49:21
Evening Gown: Karen's dress mysteriously disappears after Elle uses Karen's dressing room. Karen, determined to upset Elle and give her confidence a knock-down, dons a clown suit (since she knows Elle is terrified of stupid clowns). Fittingly, Karen is also afraid of clowns; when she passes by a mirror on her way to the stage, she catches a glimpse of herself and faints. Elle, having never seen Karen, goes on to win this portion of the pageant.
Talent: Elle ditches her fire baton and chooses to recite Paradise Lost for this section. All Done, under the impression she can sing, waddles on stage and begins to croon "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," dressed quite appropriately in Dorethy's wardrobe. The judges aren't impressed, especially Elle's therapist. Terribly embarrassed, All Done runs off stage, her wails can be heard from backstage. Fallsfall finds this delightful and sits smirking...in the corner of course. Miss Honey, and her boobs, float onto stage left. Elle's therapist says he is not impressed by giant breasts and surprise surprise, Elles wins this part too.
Interview: Karen has revived since her unfortunate fainting spell. She is now wearing her RED dress. Miss Honey and Fallsfall whisper amongst themselves saying, "Well, you know what they say about girls who wear red..." :) Elle, granny panties and all, has a panic attack (we want this realistic right?) and is unable to complete this portion. Karen wins. :(
Master: I'm not sure what that means, sounds like it has something to do with skating...so Fallsfall wins.
Finals: Elle in first, All Done in second, Miss Honey in third, Fallsfall in fourth, and poor Karen is LAST!!!!!!!!!
Elle
Posted by fallsfall on January 17, 2004, at 13:33:26
In reply to Miss Honeychurch - Bean's Beauty, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 17, 2004, at 11:49:21
Miss Honeychurch and everyone else,
How did you know I eat prunes? I even like them.
The Master's Division is for those of us who have more maturity and experience (and age) than the rest of you. When you have passed the giddy stage of young adulthood there are different things that are important. The swimsuit competition is really not a pretty sight at my age (now, we could have a swimsuit competition of the CHILDREN of people in the Master's division - my children would represent me well). We prefer activities where you can sit down - this is why the Master's division has a Bingo component. Of course, the most important part of the Master's division competition is the "Life's Wisdom" competition. This is where the contestants are asked questions like "If you could have one wish granted, what would it be?" and they have to come up with answers that have a little more depth than "World Peace" or "To marry my therapist". Now, everyone has heard of my superiority in these areas, so they are all afraid to compete in the Master's division - therefore, I easily take first place.
I'll bring the Ouija board for when things settle down and we can ask questions like "Will wearing a Wonder bra all the time keep your boobs from sagging when you get old?" and "What do therapists talk about with each other?" and "Who is the best therapist in the world". Finally we will get some answers.
I'm so glad that you guys let me come. I don't think I ever was your age - this way maybe I'll learn about some of the things I missed. Of course, you don't really learn unless you DO - so I guess I'll have to come out of my corner!
Respectfully submitted with awe,
Falls
Posted by Karen_kay on January 17, 2004, at 14:02:29
In reply to Miss Honeychurch - Bean's Beauty, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 17, 2004, at 11:49:21
You talk about mass confusion and then try to clarify things with your own take. Girl, maybe you need to get your head examined! Now, we'll keep the 80's style dance moves ala Elle. Yes, that will do nicely! Also, one thing just occurred to me. We seem to now have 4 judges. In the event of a tie (which won't happen, as I will get all 4 votes) maybe we should sequestor Dr Bob to this little sleepover for the final vote. Now ladies, there will be no hitting on him. I believe that may considered uncivil :) (Or maybe not? I'm sure if it was me it wouldn't be uncivil in the least but Miss Honey if it were you I'm sure you'd be banned from this site for the next three decades and we couldn't have that, now could we? :) But, it seems we are running low on therapists at this point....
Oh, and Fallsfall...Go easy on the prunes hun. We know it smells bad enough in there with all the hot air Miss Honey blows out of her pothole, we don't need you stinking up the bathroom as well. Just a casual reminder :)Back to the story and clarifying Miss Honey's horrible errors!!!
Ok, I've seen Bean on several occassions and have had the pleasure of removing his toupee several times. I know for a fact he wears one as my dog kindly removed it from the nightstand in my bedroom during one of our rompings and began to wrestle with it. And I believe it is made of squirrel fur. Maybe he should raise his fees so he could opt for a more expensive and realistic set of hair??
For the talent competition, Karen choses to recite a poem about the importance of ongoing therapy and how it has changed her life. She even manages to fake a few tears :) (HA HA HA Quite a good actress, I must say.) She's wearing a sleazy red dress, and yes say what you will about girls who wear red dresses, it's all true! She casually walks over to each judge and looks into each set of eyes. They shiver knowing that they too want her as a client and dread seeing their own clients on stage and in the office. Yes, you see Karen wins yet another portion of the pageant. As she walks of stage, she does trip and fall (being honest), but each judge jumps up to help her regain her grace and posture reassuring her that she didn't lose any points for simply falling. They each pat her bum and kiss her cheek. All parties in back see the exchange of graces and sulk!
Elle comes out on stage and dances to Eye of the Tiger. She break dances and also does various other 80's moves. The only person who truly joins in her enthusiasm is Beefcake, as he frequents 80's clubs. He tries to join her onstage, but she pushes him offstage and runs screaming, as he accidently touched her bum. She feel humiliated and joins Fallsfall in the corner. She eats too many prunes and ends up bloated all night. So much so that she can't even be sewn into her evening gown. She forfeits the chance to be a part of any future competition and is disqualified. Sorry Elle, you lose!!!!
All Done attempts to sing another classic 80's song "I just Died in Your Arms Tonight" also winning Beefcakes approval, but the rest of the judges boo her offstage. She tries to continue singing but the boos become so loud she can't possibly ignore them any longer. She too runs screaming from the stage and is in the corner eating prunes and stinking up the room. Miss Honey calls room service for air freshener and the pageant continues...Miss Honey wins the swim suit competition but only because she has large breasts, even if they aren't real. (See, I can lose every once in a while. Just not gracefully)
The judges get together and it is a tie. Miss Honey has Beefcake and Bean's vote. Karen has Bubba and Elle's therapist (Pdoc)'s vote. The deciding factor it seems is Dr Bob's vote. And I guess it is up to him to decide. The jury's in and he votes for......Karen!!! Yup! Karen wins again! Sorry Miss Honey, you lose one more time. How many times to we have to replay this scenario before you finally realize that I'm the winner and you're runner up. I'm giving you runner up. Isn't that good enough?
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