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Re: Oh Elle....Try this again. » Elle2021

Posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 17:20:01

In reply to Oh Karen...., posted by Elle2021 on January 16, 2004, at 16:30:28

I have plenty of talents that one could only hope to learn from yours truly. Now, let's try this one more time. BTW, slathering on black eyeliner with a crayon is not classy, regardless of what your mum says...

Now, to fix this messsed up agenda and put Karen backin first place and take Elle out of the pageant completely....

Pageant begins with judges entering room. Bean motions for Karen to come sit on his lap. Karen waves her finger in the air, her lips saying "No no, but her eyes saying, "Yes yes." Bubba comes into the room and motions for Karen to sit on his lap. Karen holds up her finger, so as to say, "In a minute baby, now is not the time but it is the place (we are in a hotel room you know!)."

Fallsfall walks out on stage with her head held high, a bit too high as she stumbles, falls and is knocked unconscious. She must remain lying on the bed the remainder of the pageant. Bean makes a move to lie down next to her, but Miss Honey makes it known that she will have no such happenings while she is in the room. Bean sits back down in his judge's chair with a defeated look on his face. Miss Honey is noticably upset that her therapist tried to make a move on Fallsfall and she immedietly breaks out in hives from stress.

The ladies begin with a lovely version of "Life Goes On." Karen sings a bit too loud, but the judges don't mind, as she constantly turns around and bends over to pick up a fallen flower that fell out of her hair. The judges applaud widely. Elle elbows Miss Honey and the both make sour faces. The judges note the lack of enthusiasm by both Miss Honey adn Elle. All Done sings nicely. Karen wins round one easily, with All Done coming in a distant second.

Score:
Karen 5
All Done 3
Miss Honey 1
Elle 1

Round 2 Talent

Elle begins this round and is determined to bring her score up. Can she do it? Doubtful, as she isn't very talented. But, read on adn we'll see..
Elle shimmies on stage in a dress that is so tight she had to sew it on. The judges like this, except the missing breasts. Sorry Elle, no offence. Elle decides to twirl a flaming baton as her talent. Obviously she's never done it before in the past. As the baton is thrown in the air, she tries to turn and her dress splits down the back, revealing granny panties. Yes folks GRANNY PANTIES! Elle catches the baton with tears in her eyes, runs crying of stage (with the song Eye of the Tiger playing in the distance), trips and falls on the way out. Elle is left feeling humiliated. (Sorry to have to do this to you Elle, but you just can't win. SORRY! IF you play with fire, you're bound to get burned!) All Done runs out on stage with new found confindence. She's certain she won't mess up as badly as Elle did and her song begins, "I Will Always Love you." As she's singling beautifuly, she notices the roast beef she had for dinner didn't settle so well and it's making it way up. She thinks she can hold it but can she really? You guessed it folks! As she's belting out the high notes, she also lets out the loudest freaking burp I've ever heard in my life! Karen and Elle are backstage and the judges can hear their laughter. All Done resumes the song without hesitation, though the judges can ac6tually smell the roast beef. This makes Bean begin to pick his teeth adn Bubba elbows him. Karen seductively walks out on stage wearing a leopard print leotard. The music beins adn the song is "Ziggy Stardust" by David Bowie. She begins a grueling session of yoga with various sexual positions, much to the likings of the judges. Miss Honey then comes out dressed in a swanky red dress, which is low cut. The judges likie already. They stand and applaud. Miss Honey begins skipping around stage, obviously not wearing a bra and suddenly a breast jumps out and hits her in the face, knocking her unconscious. She is carried to the bed with Fallsfall, to see if she will awaken later in the pageant. (Oh girlies, that is tooooo much! Miss Honey, are you ok??? :)

The Score
Miss Honey 5
Karen 4
All Done 3
Elle 2

Evening Gown

Karen walks out on stage wearing a red dress that is low cut. The judges ask her a question about changing the world and she says that she hopes one day to become a therapist, because her therapist has changed her in SOOO many ways, making her a woman instead of a little girl. They love the answer. She bends down to adjust her shoe, and shows a bit more cleavage. The judges look. Unfortunetly, Miss Honey awakens at this point and goes into a rage, breaking lamps and pulling off Bean's toupe. Bean is infuriated at this point and calls security. The issue is resolved and Miss Honey changes into her evening gown. Elle marches out on stage wearing blue jeans and a denim jacket. She says she opposes any type of evening gown competition as it portrayes women as barbie dolls instead of working girls. She clumps backstage and the judges scratch their heads. All Done walks on stage wearing a mint green dress. The dress has ruffles and sequins. One of the sequins falls off and All Done slips on it, falling to the floor. Karen stands back stage laughing, as does Elle and Miss Honey. Miss Honey parades on stage with a black eye wearing a black dress. She is asked what she would do to change the world and she answers, "I would like to give everyone a free massage, starting with Bean." Bean likes the answer, Bubba doesn't.

The score
Karen 5
Miss Honey 4
All Done 3
Elle 2

Final Score
Karen 14
Miss Honey 10
All Done 9
Elle 5

So, who's the winner of this beauty pageant. I think the story and final results speak for itself, don't you? And Miss Honey, the only reason you came in second is because your boob popped out. Keep that in mind, won't you?


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040109/msgs/301754.html