Posted by Larry Hoover on June 19, 2006, at 20:38:05
I am really f*cking tired of all this b*llshit. The deafening silence.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060525/msgs/652427.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060525/msgs/652434.htmlHow, on Earth, did that lovely little couplet get past the civility guidelines? Was it so skillfully wrought, that it went through a pretty little loophole? Does nobody know what sophistry is? What rude means? It wasn't a compliment. It wasn't civil.
No, the silence was deafening. To me. And I don't care if you don't agree with my assessment, but I do not get treated fairly around here. I get blocked when I didn't break the rules. But, other people get to call me names. Even when I point it out, nothing comes of it. Ever. Somehow, Lar is the whipping boy. Used to be. You don't deserve me. That's how it feels, in my heart. I'm taken for granted. Everybody assumes that I'll understand? Is that it? That I don't need signs of caring how I feel?
Right above me, here on this board, is the worst example of thread hijacking buzzkill b*llshit I have ever seen. You know which thread I'm talking about. You know which post I'm talking about. And not a word is said about it.
The silence, again, is deafening me.
She thinks I owe her an apology? Me, to her? Ya, well.
Let me tell you a little story.
For three years, and more, she has had a phone because I paid for it. Out of my meager pension, not saving for my own needs, because she needed it more. And I said I would not let her down. I would look after her until she got on her feet again. I have sent her packages of supplies, and nutrients, and herbs, and stuff. I sent her $500 last Christmas, just so she could have a different Christmas than the one that she was going to be having. Even though she was setting up a relationship with another man, thinking maybe I didn't notice? Without so much as the courtesy of an acknowledgement. But, I didn't put any strings on the use of that phone time. The thousands of dollars I spent on her phone time and other things she needed did not come with any strings attached. When she found out that she couldn't get some items from Victoria's Secret with the cash, I ordered them on my credit card. So that another man could see the result. And when those items didn't turn out to be what they were expected to be, for whatever reason, *I* refunded the money. I never saw a credit for the return. I didn't even look. There were no strings attached. She only wants you to think of me in another way than that. Take that up with her. I'm not interested.
I might be slow to see what's going on. I don't even care about how long it takes me to learn something. Some relationships just turn out to be lessons.
I just didn't realize I'd get two lessons in one day.
It couldn't possibly matter whether Ryan was a generic Internet person, or a Babbler Internet person, could it? Really, does it? I'm sorry I got a trivial detail wrong. I try to remember the important stuff, like when a person's birthday is, so I don't post something that might hurt them, on their birthday, as she did, on April 15.
I'm really glad to know she doesn't get triggered. Too bad for those who she triggers, I guess.
I am so f*cking out of here. I do not feel respected, here. I do not feel cared about, here. I feel taken for granted, here. I feel like the rules just don't have me under the same umbrella of protection as everybody else. I don't even have to break a f*cking rule to get blocked. But I can't get anybody to protect me, with those same rules. No matter how hard I try.
And it f*cking hurts. It f*cking hurts so bad.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:658892
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060511/msgs/658892.html