Posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 7:13:55
In reply to Re: have no, posted by Gabbi~G on June 20, 2006, at 23:24:18
> I sent her $500 last Christmas, just so she could have a different Christmas than the one that she was going to be having. Even though she was setting up a relationship with another man, thinking maybe I didn't notice?
>
> <<<Taken from your e-mail of DECEMBER 22
>
> I had written exactly what I wanted to say, and the bloody Paypal thing
> timed out on me. I'm going to try and reproduce my message.
>
> When I heard Ryan was coming, I was going to send you money. I didn't want
> you doing the poverty thing when he was going to be there.
>
> This money is late I guess, but Merry Christmas. ***And a wedding present too** (asterisks added)
> Please spend it wisely. I'm not going to be sending any more.You're condensing things. I knew, by last Christmas, yes. But, you did not tell me that you re-initiated that relationship, during a period when you were continually putting out feelers to me about my feelings for you.
I have always wanted the best for you. And I knew that wasn't me. But I had promised you, and I keep my word. It seems the only sort of feeling that you show the board about me is a stinky feeling.
I did not find out that you were seeking intimacy with another person at a time when it mattered to me. Believe me, when I figured that out, I had the clarity I needed.
Later on, I sorted it out. Before Christmas, yes. But not when we should have talked about it.
Since I got my head on straight, I have a clarity that I never had before. I'm sorry that I can be so confusing. Well, could once be so confusing.
It's complicated. I do not feel like I'm being permitted to put it in my past. I'm wanting that.
When I swear at you, it's always for the same thing you say to me. I ask you not to say it again, and guess what?
I feel like I've been under sniper attack, for a while now. But you set it up so I was just 'sposed to be a silent sandbag. That DNP thing.
Sorry. No more sandbag over here.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:658892
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060621/msgs/659631.html