Posted by Tamar on June 23, 2005, at 18:36:44
In reply to Re: Guilt guilt guilt, should I let it take me dow, posted by maggie1970 on June 23, 2005, at 15:20:04
Hi Maggie,
I'm glad you understand intellectually that you are not responsible for his divorce.
> We were very close friends, never intimate, but I felt at times he felt more than a friend for me. Maybe because I was listening to him. Maybe I feel like I shouldn't have listened? Was it fair to listen to another woman's husband's troubles?
But he was your friend. Presumably she had her own friends to talk to. I think it's great that you stuck by him and continued to offer your friendship when he was going through the breakup of his marriage.
> Then when I felt he might feel something for me, did I end talking to him? No, I didn't. I remained a friend.
Good for you. That seems to be the most appropriate response. If you had pushed him away at that point you would have hurt him and lost a friend. There is nothing wrong with his feelings for you - or your feelings for him.
> I wonder if there's some kind of counseling just for guilt?
Yes, I think there is. Your sense of guilt seems so powerful and out-of-proportion to the situation that I really wonder if you should consider doing some counselling or therapy.
If nothing else, your feelings of guilt are interfering with your developing relationship and it would be a shame to let them dominate what should be a joyful time for you. Do you know anyone who can recommend a counsellor or therapist?
I wish you happiness.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:517536
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/517649.html