Posted by AdaGrace on May 23, 2005, at 16:30:31
In reply to Re: Maybe So, But, posted by AdaGrace on May 21, 2005, at 17:03:12
The missing link here is a non-suportive spouse who will let the children get by with non compliance and disrespect on a daily basis. Why should I expect it and receive it when he doesn't. It's not from lack of trying. I really do. But after a long day of stress, the last thing I want to do is argue with the kids about their chores and who does what, and who does more, etc. These last few weeks I have just simply cooked the meals, made sure my clothes were washed and folded to keep the wrinkles at bay, straigten up my area of the couch and end table in the living room so I can sit for a few minutes after everyone is gone to bed. And of course when things are just too gross to sit amongst, I go outside and sit in my flower gardens and view what I have created and what I enjoy. My issue is not that I DON'T get time or space to myself, it's that I rarely allow it for myself because of the lack of work done around the house to begin with. I wasn't raised this way. I was not a lazy child. I did what I was told and of course I paid the consequences when I didn't. Was that a better way? I don't know. All I know is that I learned at a young age how to take care of myself, i.e. cook, clean, do laundry, and be presentable in my appearance and my surroundings. Why is that so hard to teach? I give up so easily just to keep the noise level down to a dull roar at my house. When things get too bad, I catch my husband doing the cleaning, and then is griping about it the whole time. He can't get the kids to do anything either, and they see him doing it and so they know it will get done. However, the children and him have a very different view of what clean is compared to me. I'm not a neat freak by any means. I just can't stand the clutter, and the deep down filth that never gets taken care of. I give up and it backfires on me in ten folds. THe clutter is worse, etc. etc. I don't cook a meal and the entire kitchen is trashed when they do it. Clean laundry piles up on the chairs in the living room unfolded, or if it is folded, it stays in stack until someone wants something and then they just go to their pile and pull out a pair of jeans and a shirt. Oops if the pile falls over, leave it lay. I am just so mad right now I can't stand to talk about it anymore...........I f*cking hate my life. I really do.
poster:AdaGrace
thread:500245
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050505/msgs/501816.html