Posted by Tamar on May 22, 2005, at 17:17:19
In reply to Re: Maybe So, But, posted by AdaGrace on May 21, 2005, at 17:03:12
Oh dear! Your life sounds so hard! You must be exhausted!
I don’t think it should be a question of sacrifice. If you are working full time you shouldn’t be expected to do all the housework as well. The biggest problem is that if you do all of it, your family will continue to expect it.
Can you ask your husband to cook once a week, or even more often? What the heck - even if he makes something simple and less-than-fully-nutritional? All sorts of things are quick and easy enough for someone who isn’t used to cooking (pasta pesto, omelette, etc). Can you ask you daughters to take responsibility for their own laundry? When I was a teenager my mother was sometimes so depressed that I couldn’t rely on her to make supper, do my laundry, or get me up in the morning, and so I did those things myself. It didn’t kill me. Of course you want to look after your kids, but it’s in their nature to fail to appreciate the things we do for them; they just don’t know how much work we do. Housework is easy to learn; they’ll get the hang of laundry in no time.
There are things that you probably really need and don’t seem to be getting: 1. sleep, 2. sex, 3. supper. From your post, you don’t seem to get enough of these things, but your body probably requires them in order to stay healthy! Can you make sure you get yours?
And about men and solitude: I think Lar is quite right, and it’s about stereotypes. On the other hand, a lot of men do seem to need time to themselves. I think it’s as well not to resent it too much, as long as you get some of the things you need too. My husband is easier to live with and more prepared to share the housework if he gets time to himself. I don’t entirely understand why he needs it so much but I get along with him better if I let him have what he needs.
poster:Tamar
thread:500245
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050505/msgs/501298.html