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Re: rant..

Posted by broken on May 6, 2005, at 11:03:15

In reply to Re: rant.. » alesta, posted by AdaGrace on May 6, 2005, at 8:58:47

> Just like you, I don't understand the "fight to the very end" part in men. Competition? I guess. I hate men for doing this. They are possessive, and yet don't want us to be. They are demanding, and yet don't want us to be. They are callous, cruel, and oftentimes very hurtful, and yet we fall for the line everytime. One sweet sentence makes me forget all the previous hurt they did. Guess that means I am weak as well. A sucker. A huge fat sucker for pretty words. Wish I could become stronger. Wish I could be the hard*ss I want to be. And for God's sake, I wish I felt better about myself and stop this search for attention and sex from others instead of my husband. I don't like him. I don't even love him anymore. But we are friends now. Until the next episode of tyranical rule and yelling, spitting, emotionally abusive fit.
> So I stay, because I think I should. Because I feel I deserve no better. Because I am used to it. It's sad really.
>
> Geeze, when did this become about me? Alesta? Did I ever tell you how pretty I though your name was?
>
> AdaGrace


Grace,

I know that I base my feelings on my experience in the past. It's really the only way I know how. I know that in the earlier paragraph, you said "Men, at least the ones I have met" so I hope that applies to the paragraph I quoted as well. You weren't specific there, and I dont want to take the quote out of context.
I know from your posts here that you are enduring a tremendous amount of pain, I wish I could say something that would take that all away. Ofcourse I can't, like you mentioned, paraphrasing, talk is cheap. But let me assure you of one thing. Even though your past experience has been horrible, it can get better.
I am very much in love with my wife, I appreciate all she has done for me and our family, and I show my appreciation for her as often as I can. Even if I can only do that by taking her to dinner without the kids, or letting her sleep in on the weekends, while I get breakfast cooked for the family. I share everything that goes on in my life with her, even babble, and the friends I've made here. And better yet, I am not special. I know there are a huge amount of men that do the same things for their SO.

Don't give up on that, or lose faith please. You're worth that, not only worth it, but you deserve that life, if that is what you want.

I hope that things improve for you, and I wish you the best of things to come.

Chris


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