Posted by Larry Hoover on May 10, 2005, at 13:12:21
In reply to Re: anger mgmt and couples counselling » Larry Hoover, posted by sunny10 on May 10, 2005, at 11:19:29
> no one wants me to try this- everyone just wants me to run away, but I can't...
>
> for MANY reasons...MOST importantly, proving a point to myself...
>
> I am NOT a weakling- I AM capable of doing something other than running away from all of life's problems...and dealing with a loved one who is hurting and self-medicating is something that life has thrown at me. I don't want to run from all of life's challenges anymore...
>
> That is all I've ever done and I'm overdue for a change.
>
> Having said that, I am incorporating into this theory that I cannot change how my SO deals with life's little problems. I can point out the path and offer to walk it with him, but I can't do the changing for him.
>
> I can only try to change how I choose to deal with the problems. In order for ME to grow, it is important for me not to run. But everyone else only sees "a manipulator" and wants me to run far away. I've decided to let a therapist figure out whether he has a problem that can be helped or if he IS a manipulator.
>
> Have I cleared it up any?Absolutely. I didn't miss anything, then. It was the way you simplified it that confused me.
I see you're clear on the path concept, and time will show if your paths are congruent.
Best,
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:494163
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050505/msgs/496026.html