Posted by sunny10 on November 3, 2004, at 9:38:24
In reply to Re: Just discovered my SI is using illegal drugs-HELP » sunny10, posted by corafree on November 2, 2004, at 15:53:06
Thanks for the long explanation; it helps me "see" your point of view.
Being dependent on SSD has its own set of ambivilant feelings without even HAVING the rest of the stuff going on, doesn't it?!?
As far as what your fam of origin thinks, IMO I wouldn't pay much attention to people who "shut me out"- how can they be reacting to anything they "know" about you if they have already shut you out?
Do you have a T to talk to about these issues? My biggest problem is someone else's trust issues, which, frankly would only be eased by HIM going to a T (!)and my fear of abandonment which all my T's have told me to "just get over it- you're an adult now". The problems YOU are mentioning here involve federal agencies, et cetera. The T can help you sort out what would be best for you.
You mention a premarital agreement... do you know for sure that it would enable you to still receive your SSD? Make sure you check the www.state.(two letter state code).gov website for whatever concrete info you can find out about this. If the state assigned you to a social worker under SSD, try calling that person. It is a good sign that you are questioning all of this- believe it or not, it's a sign of being rational about your decision-making at this time; show them that! I say that not because I am a T or pdoc or anything, but just from personal experience.... Frankly, I go two ways about it.. 1) I just jump in and make rash decisions without thinking things all the way thru- using wishes and dreams to "make things turn out the way I want" (usually not even a distant relative to reality..sigh) or,
2) Ponder every aspect of every decision (obsessing, usually)until there are so many "options" that I am frozen by indecision. Although my fears (confrontation, abandonment, et cetera) freeze me up- I then have a bunch of options that someone can help me sort through to help me see the right ones.That's where I see you- am I even close???
-sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:409148
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041015/msgs/411019.html