Posted by sunny10 on November 1, 2004, at 11:35:58
In reply to to clarify a bit » sunny10, posted by octopusprime on November 1, 2004, at 11:12:12
Yes, that clarification really does help A LOT !
I may be way out of line demanding that "MY SAFE PLACE" be the entire house- but I need to be safe at home- the whole home, not sneaking around, et cetera, in another room. He SAYS this is "fine", he "understands that", but...
As you said, at this point it is MOSTLY about the trust. BECAUSE we HAD this conversation before, where I said that if he wanted to do drugs- go out with friends and do it; not in our house and not around me. He is a different person when he did coke those two times- just talking to him I felt like I was cheating on him! And we had sex once- it was thoroughly degrading to me... I wanted to make love, but the person in the bed was a stranger. THAT's why I said, "not around me at all".
Maybe your most helpful comment was couples therapy. I don't know why I didn't think of it. If he is for real, and not handing me a junkie line, the "he I know" would definitely see the benefit in it. If the person I talk to after work says yes, then I think it'll really be HIM and worth pursuing. If he says, no, than I think it'll always the the other "him" and I should do as you say and protect myself by walking away.
Does this sound reasonable?
-sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:409148
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041015/msgs/410046.html