Posted by DAisym on February 9, 2009, at 23:42:47
In reply to Re: Developmental stages in therapy » DAisym, posted by lucie lu on February 7, 2009, at 18:03:30
Do you know, Lucie, that as much as I read, i have never read the Little Prince? I'll have to go check it out of the library.
Most of the time I think I'm reconciled to the limitations of the theraputic relationship and that I'm even relieved to know there are boundaries that hold the frame. I know what it was like to be special in all the wrong ways. I also know deeply what it was like to not be special enough to be seen or attended to. So I want and fear this. Mostly, I want to free myself from the self-doubts and hostile self-talk that says I'm tainted and not good enough. These get louder as the needs get bigger.
I think grieving is one of the major tasks of therapy. We must grieve for the things in our life that didn't turn out well, for our childhoods or for other disappointments or lost loves. And I think we grieve the influence of the past on the present and future. I'm getting a double wammy - memories that have long been buried deep have surfaced while my present life has fallen apart. They are not mutually exclusive and for sure they've influenced each other. It has been a lot of loss over the past 4 years. So I can't stand the thought of losing my therapist in the midst of all of this.
I want to think about what you said about the adult part getting in the way of the elemental joy. This strikes a cord and it sounds a lot like what my therapist often says to me, "you stop yourself from getting what you want and need. I'm not saying no - you say no to yourself first."
Thanks for the thoughtful reply.
Daisy
poster:DAisym
thread:878656
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/879182.html