Posted by lucie lu on December 8, 2008, at 19:09:37
In reply to Dissociation and me As I see it (triggers-maybe), posted by rskontos on December 8, 2008, at 16:53:31
Rsk,
That was a treat, for you to give some insight into your therapy and how you are slowly introducing DID into the picture. It must have felt very good, when you brought the subject up, to have him confirm and validate it this time, rather than the previous "oh yeah, you're DID, let's move on" response. Did he really do that before, or is that just how you imagined he might react? I like his deep perception and empathy about the critical importance of gaining your trust and his willingness to wait patiently until you've built up enough to delve into difficult areas. And he is letting you know that every little bit of "babbling" you can muster, even though it may seem inconsequential to you, is still adding stone by stone to the bridge you are building together that will end up connecting you. From the personal qualities you describe, it sounds like you and he are a very good match.
You probably mention it in other posts, but how long have you been seeing this T and how many times a week? I think it was your pdoc who gave you the dx, or am I forgetting?
You said you have trouble holding onto the good feelings from a session for very long afterwards. I'm curious what you think about that. I would have thought that good feelings would be less likely to be dissociated, but maybe it doesn't work that way. Having trouble holding on like that has been a long-standing problem for me too. Except that I am starting to wonder (my case, not yours)if this is something I do to sabotage myself, not to let myself enjoy the pleasure of connection for long. Or maybe that's being overly analytical for me, maybe I just have a bad memory ;)
It is interesting that your son seems more aware of your dissociation that your H. It probably would feel a whole lot better if your family knew, and were accepting and supportive of you. Maybe that's not easy to even imagine. Seems like one of the worst things about DID is the apparent need for shrouding it in secrecy, and how that separates you from others. But I guess it is also self-protective, so you won't be pressed to handle material before you are ready. If there was anywhere in therapy that the "baby steps" injunction applies, I would think it would be here.
Thank you again for posting. I was sorry to see, in muffled's thread, that you originally did not feel too comfortable talking about it, so I'm very glad you found that you could and decided to share.
I wish you all the best, rsk.
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:867558
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081205/msgs/867584.html