Posted by DAisym on December 4, 2008, at 11:24:22
In reply to Re: One little sentence - long » DAisym, posted by Annierose on December 2, 2008, at 22:27:44
It's never wrong for wishes ... that's what candles are for on birthday cakes. Of course a little girl whose life was turned upsidedown would wish for a wonderful open hearted person to see their pain and take them away from that situation. Your t did miss what you meant, that you wished he would have taken you home. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't want to rescue you - he wishes he could have saved you from your father.
****I love thinking about the wishes on a birthday cake. It feels like it makes it OK. And I think my therapist was thinking of what could actually be done - rescue me and put me with another family. So I guess that means he would have wanted to save me.
It's not wrong to want a different family either. I think if families were for sale at my shop, I would actually have a long line of customers at this very moment! I hear that you feel responsible and worried for other members in your family. That shouldn't be little daisy's job. You were a little girl. You couldn't have known what to do. Adults are supposed to make sense of the world for their children. The adults in your life turned it upsidedown instead of rightsideup. Your mom should have taken care of things. That was her job, and she missed it. Your mom missed it big time. She doesn't want to see the pain or the destruction - then and now.
********I think when you are the target member of the family, you think that if you weren't, someone else would be and that isn't really better. But yes, I was just a little girl and there was too much responsibility. I was thinking yesterday how lonely it must have been for my mother and how scary. Her world didn't make sense, how could she make sense of mine?
Your t may not have picked up on what you were saying, but he will once you explain what you really meant. He loves you and wants only the best for you. He can no longer rescue you, but together, you will work together to build a safe life and home for both little and big Daisy.
It's not easy. But I know his heart is in the right place. And you have the biggest heart of them all. Love wins everytime.
****Weird thing, that you wrote about his heart. He said to me, as he was trying to understand what I wanted from him, "you know my heart is open to you." It was a very sweet thing to say. I know we will get past all of this, I'm not really mad at him. I think this is the first time I've played with the idea of another family and it is surprisingly painful for me. And the sadness is very nonverbal. So therapy stalls, until I can find my words again.
Thanks for worrying.
poster:DAisym
thread:866338
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866650.html