Posted by lucie lu on December 4, 2008, at 0:55:35
In reply to One little sentence - long, posted by DAisym on December 2, 2008, at 20:35:02
Daisy,
There are few things in therapy that are more poignant than the rescue fantasy. Sharing in this fantasy can be powerfully comforting and healing for both participants, I think. From everything you've written about him, Daisy, your T has undoubtedly wished many times over that he could have rescued you back then and that he would have given anything for your life to have been different. As for you, how could you not have longed for those same wishes? You both know rationally, sadly, that these wonderful wishes can never be fulfilled, that it is IRL too late for actual rescue. Facing that is one of the most painful and difficult tasks of therapy. But when you both share these wishes, to rescue and be rescued, and enter into the rescue fantasy together, it can feel almost magically restorative; unlike the original time, you are not alone or abandoned, you are with someone who cares profoundly for you and has chosen to walk alongside you, helping, supporting, and just being there for you. You are there in each anothers minds. In your last sessions, it seems like your T missed his cue, maybe he forgot how he was supposed to join in. Sometimes his job is to draw the curtain on the shared rescue fantasy, you know, help you (both?) face the sadness that separates fantasy from reality. And sometimes, it is very healing simply to have him participate in the fantasy with you. It seems like he was somehow poised halfway between these two roles, which kept him off-balance and misattuned to your needs of the moment. Maybe he just needs to think a bit more about how this particular dance goes and practice his steps, so he can do it with you better next time. I am so sorry that you were hurt so much. You have had so much already.
((((((((((Daisy))))))))))
Love, Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:866338
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866580.html