Posted by onceupon on December 2, 2008, at 22:01:02
In reply to One little sentence - long, posted by DAisym on December 2, 2008, at 20:35:02
Reading this post made me ache for you, Daisy. Of course you wanted him to take you home with him. And of course it's okay to want that too. I *get* that this feels wrong and not his job, etc. And at the same time, I want to say that your therapist was right on one point - that all wishes are OK to have and yes, he cannot fulfill all of them AND that's painful as hell sometimes.
In a lot of ways, it's not just one little sentence, is it? It seems almost like a hologram holding all of the past hurt and trauma and feelings of overwhelm and loneliness. We're all primed to pass our current experiences through the filter of our previous experiences. There's nothing stupid about it. It's just what happens. I know I'm probably telling you things you already know, since you seem quite knowledgeable on the neurobiology of attachment/relationships. But if I were 8-year-old Daisy who doesn't know an amygdala from a hippocampus, I would desperately want my therapist to get it, without having to spell it out word-for-word. So I guess this is the really convoluted way of saying that I'm sorry that your therapist missed this time. It can be devastating to have things not be "just right" in therapy, especially several sessions in a row. And I'm sorry that it feels like you're the one who needs to broach repairing this rupture (if "rupture" fits with your experience). I certainly have faith that you can do so.
poster:onceupon
thread:866338
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866347.html