Posted by DAisym on December 4, 2008, at 12:22:38
In reply to Re: One little sentence - long » DAisym, posted by TherapyGirl on December 3, 2008, at 17:07:14
I don't think he was refusing to say he would take me home, I think he was focused on the wrong part of the wish. He was rescuing me in a different way - in the "real" way that we rescue kids. Because he has entered into fantasy with me before - sitting by my bed as I sleep or guarding my door against my dad. Interesting to think about though, because those put him with me, not me with him. I wonder if he is so good at keeping his private life out of the therapy that this felt like an invasion (unconsciously)into his personal territory.
But mostly, I think he just missed that piece of it. He clearly wanted to understand and he did get that I was wanting something from him - but it was coming from such a sad, young place and once said, that piece closed up and couldn't express anything else. So we were both caught in this vortex of feelings that makes everything surreal and unclear.
There have been times in my therapy when you can feel the room narrow and things go quiet and he and I are so "there" together - like merged to the point of being able to say anything because I can borrow his sense of self and safety - almost communicating by feeling instead of talking. We'll both say, "I was thinking" and "I was thinking that too, just now." It is really powerful when this happens. But pulling back, inside yourself, feels very lonely too. I think the other day I was in feeling mode and he was in thinking mode.
I will talk to him about all these feelings. Just not yet.
poster:DAisym
thread:866338
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866666.html