Posted by Nadezda on October 9, 2008, at 22:26:12
In reply to Thank you everyone, posted by antigua3 on October 9, 2008, at 17:15:25
Hi, Antigua. I'm sorry you're in so much pain over this.
But I wonder if you aren't punishing yourself now-- perhaps for telling on your father, if that is part of what's going on-- or in the belief that you "set yourself up" for this retraumatization with your pdoc. I don't know what this situation means, but it's not worth acting abruptly and sending yourself into further turmoil.
You really don't need to take any action. In the midst of a storm of feelings-- hurt, anger, self-blame and the rest-- is not a time to change things radically. It's a time to start to look at what's happened, at what you feel about it, at why it might have happened-- and then, over time, to come to the right decision.
It's not that you have to stop doing something, or needing something or all is lost; whatever has happened, has a reason-- and can be handled over time.
You certainly need your T;, and you may need this pdoc for a while, because you have in a very intense connection of some kind-- even if it's not good for you.
Whatever happened isn't entirely of your doing-- after all your pdoc offered to see you. I would see that as an impossible to refuse offer--under the circumstances-- for all sorts of reasons. I don't doubt that he had the best of motives; he may have thought his ability to help with boundaries would be useful. But I dont' think he has the temperament or the right approach for you-- not only as an individual-- but as someone who has very different issues-- and age-- from his usual patients.
If anything I would stay within the framework that you've created for yourself, where you're working with a T who cares about you a great deal, and, until you;re more comfortable and sure about ending it, with a pdoc who also cares, but may not be able to give what you need.
I very much hope that you can begin to write again-- and not let his limitations-- and his views-- keep you from expressing yourself in such an important way.
Whatever changes you need to make can't be make precipitously and and, to be in your best interests, should be prepared for, and shouldn't cause you so much pain.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:856481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856672.html