Posted by Daisym on July 2, 2008, at 21:46:51
In reply to Re: Has your T said the L word about you? » lucie lu, posted by TherapyGirl on July 2, 2008, at 21:02:42
Maybe - recently he said something about pushing away everyone's care and loving feelings - his, my friends, etc. -- and I wasn't sure how to take it.
But he has said often he cares about me - even called me "silly" once when I questioned it, not in an insulting way but more like, "Yes, of course, how could you not know that?" He usually adds, "can't you feel it? Don't I show it?" And he does.
One of the things I like most about my therapist is that he does not hesitate when it comes to showing his support and caring - he will call me to check in if things are tough, he has given me things to hang on to, or things he thought I'd find special. And he offers himself - phone messages or ways to imagine him with me - that are just so sweet and amazing, I can't question his caring. He left me this one voice message to chase away bad dreams that was great - I guess it is his voice that conveys the caring.(I do reserve the right to retract this if I get mad at him for saying the wrong thing...)
The other thing I like is that when I hesitate around the word love in expressing the complicated mixture of feelings that I have for him, he steps in and uses it. He'll talk about my loving feelings for him, and he never makes me feel stupid or like a cliche.
I think that even when a therapist cares deeply, using the L-word can confuse a client so my guess would be they avoid it. I know all our training says to avoid it.
poster:Daisym
thread:837716
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/837761.html